Friday, August 1, 2014

purr purr purr purr

And now, let us discuss Miranda.

I've cheated a bit, we had to go visit Miranda BEFORE the Geth Dreadnaught. Before you talk to her, however, you have to go space skype with Anderson.

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He'll tell you about Kai Leng. We all know why he's so spooked by Kai Leng, ps.

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Some people also report that Anderson will email you a dossier? I can't get the damn email to come up.

Point being, once all that happens, go space skype with Miranda at the spectre terminal.

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If you did it all right, Miranda will say something about being ready.

Then go do the geth dreadnaught.

You get back from that, Miranda will email you again, so go meet her in her apartment:

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... okay, you've got them, but only because you're totes the best squadmate.

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Oh my GOD you're so lucky that warp and overload are that valuable.

Forgive her, though, trust me.

Let's visit someone else.

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One of the nice thing about the Citadel dates is that you can lock in your romance guy. Meaning? Everyone else quits coming on to you! Let's go!

Garrus takes you to the top of the Citadel, even though it's illegal. I think he thinks he's being a ~bad boy?~ But Shepard's a spectre. If they get caught, she can just be all like, "Yo, spectre authority," and it won't matter. I don't know why this didn't come up in the writing room.

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I had an internal debate with myself, and decided this: Garrus' scene is actually sort of nice. Syrupy as hell, but nice. I'm going to be super kind and not parody every single line from the scene, because if you haven't played it yet, I don't want you to get spoiled.

... except spend ten minutes on Tumblr and they'll quote every line to you, holy shit.

Trust me, whether or not you're getting some turian dick, miss the second shot when you get the chance. Bioware left an easter egg in there for you.

Some fangirls speculate that they banged right after this scene. Really? ... would you not hate to be the officer who walked in on that?

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First time I played this, I made sure Husbando~ was out of the house, because I suspected this scene was going to be more or less girl porn. ... and you know, I was pretty much right, that is super girl porn.

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... we don't have enough time in this entry to do the last Citadel date that I want to do, but I'd feel bad cutting you all off here, so let's do some quickies:

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And because of the photorealism of MSPixel, I don't have to tell you who that is!

...

...

...

okay fine it's Kelly Chambers.

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Liara digs up dog turds on public property.

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Jack saw next week's entry.

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