Cronos Station: The Most Sacred Of Tales

Merry 25th of December, MSPals! There is a spoiler at the end of this entry, I didn't take it out.

Remember, of course, how Kai Leng prefers to throw shade.

... you guys, that was the first joke I ever wrote for MSPixel!

And thus, we're launched into our final Kai Leng battle. It's pretty cool, when he novas, he shatters the floor.

Garrus' long range is extra helpful here, he totally got MVP of this fight.

Shepard, she takes care of things in the usual way.

... but let's be real, there's only one thing you showed up for today.

Warm holiday greetings to you and yours.

And not Kai Leng, because he's fucking dead.

Cronos Station: It Means "Doesn't Go"

I forgot how wordy the ending of Cronos Station is. You guys don't need to worry about me running out of material, I think the ending of Mass Effect will take me WELL past Andromeda. D:

Actual file footage of the Citadel right now:

"Bean, you jacked that image from your rendition of Paragon Lost." Yes, yes I did, because the Citadel also orbited Earth in that pile. I swear I remember some nerd getting mad and giving Very Many Science Reasons as to why the Citadel can't orbit Earth, but I kind of tuned out because I tend to do that when nerds get mad.

I mean, there might be a science reason, but it's fucking Mass Effect. Good news! Asari aren't real either! There's no such place as Ilos!

This would have been a hell of a place for a cut scene. The game still does the 'heads talking' thing (that's super easy to draw and basically makes MSPixel possible), but hell, we can pretend, can't we:

... who the fuck?

Give you three guesses, first two don't count.

bwahahaha kai leng winning the smash vote wouldn't the salt be real

still mad that my precious baby captain toad didn't get it

Sadly, this section doesn't divide as evenly as I want it to, so you'll have to catch more next time. You know, on Friday.

I mean, hell, what could you possibly be doing on Friday?

Shepard Gets Mad

"Bean, you're lying, Kai Leng doesn't really email Shepard to gloat." Oh it happens.

"Bean, you must be exaggerating, it surely must sound more mature than what you've got there." You're going to learn some day that I make very little up, and then you're going to get sad.

Point being, the asari councillor would like to space skype with us.

... yo, I'm not sure how future etiquette works, but I think "your planet is fucked and you're all gonna die" is a message best delivered in person ... ?

At least Shepard's not going to space text that one.

I think we're supposed to believe that this is the first time Shepard fucked up. Except ... how did she fuck up? She didn't get the data, but it wasn't her fault unless maybe you count being so damn fat that you crack the floor to a millennia old temple.

Real talk, if the asari wanted to keep their planet and their species, they needed to play ball way the hell back in Mass Effect 2. If they had The Data That Could Make Everything Work, the time to bring that up was when Liara brought it up to them. Maybe they could have saved Earth and Palaven. Maybe when the reapers came around to Thessia, there would be human and turian troops at the ready.

But naw, you don't get to not play nice and then keep all your toys. I don't feel sorry for the asari, not even a little bit. Eat reaper laser you nasty shits.

Anderson also calls.

FUN FACT: From this point forward, 50% of Anderson's lines at least are about being born in London.

And now, welcome to one of my favorite scenes in the entire game.

I love it so much when Shepard is pissed. Usually there are bodies involved.

... has anyone ever seen Liara broke a shadow? I cannot name one time in the entire Mass Effect canon where she provides intel. Children, consider who I am: not only did I read the books, I took notes on them and drew them. If Liara ever did a shadow brokerey thing, I'd know about it.