The End: A Rough Landing

So the Normandy's in space, running from ...

... I have no idea what that is. Is that the same thing going from mass relay to mass relay? If it is, why the hell is it targeting the Normandy? If it's not, what is it?!

... something's wrong with that image.

I'll leave it to you, though.

The, uh, space thing? The space thing makes the Normandy, um. Explode?

And thus, the Normandy crash lands.

People start getting out of the Normandy:

Y'all buckle your seatbelts, I'm about to yell a lot.

In the original ending, in destroy, EDI popped right out of that ship like nothing happened. And people said, "Wait, if all the reaper tech shut down, how the hell is EDI still alive?"

So Bioware cut her out of the extended cut, but I refuse, REFUSE to let them off the hook. Just because she's not in the cut scene doesn't mean she's not there. And anyway, if all the reaper tech is shut down, how was the Normandy still flying? It should have just hung in space.

There's a third catch to this that we'll get to, but let me reiterate: the space child is a lying little shit.

The second person out of the ship is always your love interest.

The third is always Javik.

It's supposed to be the squadmate that you had the highest 'friendship' with, but I've never found a good definition for what 'friendship' was, and anyway why in the world wouldn't mine be Liara? Every time I play this game, there's Javik, right in the ending, climbing over Liara to get out of the ship.

I suspect this part is bugged.

This is a fight that I have more with Mass Effect nerds than Bioware. Prove that they didn't crash land on Earth. You can't. They're in Brazil. Fight me in the parking lot.

London: How Does This Reflect On Me?

Sorry not sorry for the April Fools joke! Let's continue on with Javik.

Javik confirmed for hero of Mass Effect Andromeda, pass it on.

At this point, you can talk to Anderson, EDI or Tali. Anderson advances the plot, though, and I think y'all know me well enough to know that I'll need time to yell at EDI.

Come at me, it's true!

London: Four Hundred Balls

So anyway, now we come to Liara, who is, um.

This scene is nice because it's delicate. I doubt Bioware would ever say so, but I think Liara is their favorite, and you can tell by the way this scene is written. Among other things. Like the fact that Liara got her own entire DLC. But anyway.

Liara's not my favorite, but I do love that she's Blue Lucca.

Aww, shit, Liara, you haven't done The Thing since Mass Effect 1. You go right ahead.

So what does Liara show you?

I'm ... not sure. It's just this. Is it supposed to be the beginning of the universe? The end? I don't actually know.

I seriously would have preferred a cheesy clip show. They could have done a Final Fantasy vocal track over it and everything, it would have ruled.

Actual screen shot from Mass Effect:

seems legit

Anyway,

As we go along, we find Wrex on the mount talking to the krogan troops.

Oh my GOD let's go running toward Javik.