The End: Hackett's Soliloquy

New to the Extended Cut, Hackett gives you a monologue describing the state of the galaxy at this point. This was a response to people who were mad that the Mass Effect ending didn't show what happened next.

Personally, I don't think it added much, but that wasn't a complaint I had with the ending anyway.

Whatever. Take it, Hackett.

I thought that the relays were destroyed in the original ending, but it was so unclear that I could willingly be wrong.

I'm an ass.

I sincerely ask for your forgiveness, but I couldn't figure out how to illustrate this line. It's dumb as hell is why. What the hell in the Mass Effect universe is about working together? I can chop the stones off the krogan, toast the quarians off their own planet, and then Hackett's gonna tell me about togetherness?

... is that the citadel cruising over Vancouver?

Why are nerds okay with this but not okay with the shot in Paragon Lost where the citadel is in Earth's orbit?

I'm still going to pretend I censored out some death spoilers, so enjoy this garbage instead!

Hackett, Take Us Away!

HNNNNG photobucket like super broke this morning

Imgur has apparently stopped running weird compression on all my images but it's still a pain in my ass so I'm still mad.

Luckily we're working with the ending to Mass Effect 3, so I'm going to be in a great mood in like ten minutes.

Hackett rolls on board the Normandy and gives a speech. ... weren't these the domain of Shepard back in the day?

Hackett and Shepard make their way down the hall, Adam Sorkin style.

I actually had to google them. They're giant reaper shaped cannons. But the game doesn't say anything about that, it just drops that little nugget in there like, "yep, you read the codex, Hades cannons."

I'm going to yell about mass effects between now and the end of the game and you're going to accept it. These are two states of being.

The fun thing about the ending to Mass Effect 3 is that anything you can imagine is better than what actually happened.

A Favor, MSPals

Follow me on a journey.

When I was doing Mass Effect 2, any time a story began on the Normandy, I was able to do these little introductory comics of just general quality-of-life stories on the Normandy.

Now Mass Effect 3, that game mostly takes place off the Normandy, so I didn't get to do them as much.

But I miss them! Since we just completed Cronos Station, would you all ... would you all be cool if I just took an entry and played on the Normandy for a bit? It might be my last chance.

Honestly, there's much more Mass Effect after this, muuuuuuuuuuuuch more, but you do understand what's next, right?

Anyway, let's go.

I thought this was where the sex scene was, true story. I still think this would be a better place for some Bioware brand bangin.

"How to draw a scuba mask on a Prothean," and other problems that the Bioware art team doesn't have to solve but I do.

Oh man, remember in Mass Effect 2 when Joker would watch porn in the cock pit? Good times.

Not drawing porn! I mean, I draw Mass Effect all the time and that's basically porn, but still!

Enjoy that censor bar.

oh my god the face on chawkwas

In certain conditions, you can get a scene where the dudes of the Normandy gather to play poker. I didn't get them, but enjoy this anyway.

It's also possible that I don't know anything at all about poker.

... something about Mass Effect universe characters sittin and chillin with a little X Files.

NEXT TIME: it begins

Cronos Station: More Like Assault On MY EYES

I have bitched about this since ME1 and I don't even care:

Anyway, this damn thing has a plot and probably we should get to it.

A thousand years ago Miranda tracked Kai Leng to Cerberus' own Cronos Station for us, so let's go fuck that up.

That thing still looks just so much like a penis.

I totally 100% forgot that the sex scene happens here! I thought that it happened right before the last assault on Spoiler Planet! Stick Figure Me isn't lying, I literally just started the damn XBox up and bam, fucking. Mass Effect.

I feel like a bad story teller, because we totally just had two sex scenes in a row. Poor Shepard's going to be sore when she rolls up to Cronos Station.

... you know what, though? Let's do something else. Indulge me just a little bit. We'll get to the sex scene, I promise.

As much as I hate it, this happened. BioWare actually spared us from it, I was surprised.