London: I Mean What I Say About Major Coats

So was it just my game, or does Shepard's omnitool clip through her head in this cut scene?

Bioware swore up and down that you'd be able to play Mass Effect 3 without the other two Mass Effects. I mean, I guess you can hold the controller and punch buttons, so it's not untrue.

Major Coats weighs in too, but,

It's not like his ass is useful.

While they're driving, well, so is Hackett.

"Piloting a giant dick towards Earth: The Bioware Urmyth."

No, but check this out, this is cool:

Reapers just streaming all the fuck up outta Earth. That's a lot of dead organic life converted into reaper sperm!

Meanwhile, in the shuttle,

(It took me forever to come up with how to draw a shuttle crash. It tasked me. I don't like the solution I came up with.)

Meanwhile, this is one of the coolest scenes in the game, and props to the Bioware art team for composing it:

It is my joy and honor to utterly ruin it.

London: Mass Effect Crystal Chronicles

So anyway, I love anything teeny in the Mass Effect universe, and the little holograms are the cutest.

Oh you fucking enjoy that MSPaint destroyer. MSPixel is magical when it comes to this kind of garbage.

I did consider drawing it, but on occasion, I have mercy.

Earth: Major Coats

You know the little tooltip in the middle of the screen in Mass Effect 3? The one that tells you where to go?

Ever notice how stupidly unhelpful it is?

Luckily, it's just one of those clear the area things, all you have to do is --

Wait, shit, I still have the cain.

Actual conversation in our house. I actually died twice trying to replay this section for MSPixel because the top button is X, goddamnit. Also all buttons are purple.

Anyway, this shit is happening:

Finally, the shuttle comes.

So, uh, welcome, Major Coats ... ?

I cannot explain Major Coats. God, I wish I could. I tried. I kept waiting for him to pop up in a comic or something, but naw, with Major Coats, what you see is what you get.

Major Coats is Anderson's best friend who shows up literally on 11:30 PM of the entire fucking trilogy. Here is what I know about him: his name is Major Coats. Here is the function he serves in the story: he is Major Coats.

... Major Coats is the hero of Mass Effect Andromeda.

At least 50% of Anderson's lines from here forward are "I was born in London" or some sort of glowing praise for Major Coats.

... is the actual line from the game, but again, Spacer. It probably should be more like,

Next time: MAJOR COATS