Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Thessia: Also They Were Delicious

Hey, happy new year tomorrow!

Anyway, Thessia. A picturesque planet rich in history.

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Then, the reapers came along and ate its shit.

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Does it bother anyone else that Liara is totally Queen Sensitivity during this?

Something Husbando~ and I noticed while we were playing this section again:

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Did anyone else notice how damn dark this level is? It takes place during the day! You can't see shit! We were fiddling with the settings on the TV and everything, it was awful. I thought that rule #1 in video game level design was that the player has to see some shit.

Anyway, we roll up to the temple, but:

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Kurin finds Shepard and is all like, "We's all gon die!" which makes sense, because this huge harvester comes in and wrecks the asari military's shit pretty hard. We have to take out the harvester to proceed.

One problem.

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That fucker is hard. My vanguard ass had nearly no useable powers and a pea shooter, so I was really, really stuck.

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I'm not even kidding, I beat the guy, but it was 95% luck and 5% Liara and Javik spamming every power they knew.

Let's see what's inside the temple.

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... I am aware that I'm a shit.

Santa might have brought me a WiiU, and maybe I've been playing too much Hyrule Warriors.

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Do you know how hard I looked for a useable picture of the buster sword? Feh, they're a matched set.

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We'll let Javik stomp more on Liara's world next time.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Thessia: It's Goin' Down, We're Yelling Timber

I'm sure somewhere along the way I got a cut scene telling me what to do next, but you want the truth? I totally forgot what it was supposed to be.

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Uh, so, we've got to go see the Asari councilor, who is currently tearing up Udina's office.

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(If you've forgotten, Udina tried to take over the Citadel in a coup.)

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So there we go! Let's get to Thessia!

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Who indeed? Obviously, I'm taking my ME1 brosquad, so let's pick Gar --

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Holmes, trust me on this one, do not pass up the opportunity to bring Javik on this mission. Do it. Trust me.

Once we land on Thessia, we're greeted by:

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There's a little section here where the asari put up a barrier and you have to shoot the reapers that come close.

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It's not supposed to last long. When I played it, though, I glitched it out. No more enemies were coming, but the scene wouldn't end. Every time I tried to step away from the gun, Kurin yelled at me:

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Providing your game is working, the next scene should play.

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Merry Christmas Eve, everyone.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Foundations: Wrex

Act of Mass Effect, DLC, comic. Y'all know how I roll. I made Husbando~ pick an issue of Foundations, and he picked issue 2, which is Wrex, so let's go.

We open on this idyllic scene on the Citadel.

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Idyllic for Wrex, anyway, he loves choking a bitch.

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I totally don't get this line. Wrex just choked a human. Right? He looked like a human. So what's the batarian talking about? Unless the brother incident is totally unrelated to the choking a human, but if that's true, why the hell did the story begin with choking that human?

Either way, Wrex handles shit in the usual way.

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Yeah, Wrex headbutts a guy, like, straight into the air.

Then again, complaining about the art in a Foundations comic is much like complaining about the art in MSPixel.

A volus approaches Wrex with a password.

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Wrex gets it right, so the volus takes him to a room on the Citadel with a shit ton of weapons.

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... can I draw very many guns? I cannot, dear reader, I cannot.

While Wrex and the Volus talk, we discover that the Shadow Broker has hired Wrex to kill Fist. Damn, remember when Wrex was a mercenary? He was one for like ten whole minutes in Mass Effect 1.

Speaking of Mass Effect 1, Fist was in that game. You dealt with him very briefly at the beginning. As you can see from that link, I fucked up and killed him. Welp.

By the by, during this whole thing, there's a Cerberus agent named Rasa tracking Wrex. ("Bean, who the hell is Rasa?" I'm sure I told you not to worry about Rasa in the last Foundations entry.) She gets a brief call into Kai Leng real quick before we return to Wrex, who --

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Son. No the hell wonder the Shadow Broker didn't want you to kill anyone near the Presidium. You, sir, are thorough.

As Wrex burns down the entire fucking station, he runs into a merenary:

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While Wrex is screwing around, Rasa calls up Kai Leng and discovers that Fist was going to give info to Cerberus, but now he's defected to Saren. I seriously didn't realize this until now: that would place Foundations before Mass Effect 1 if Saren is still alive. I thought the Foundations comics all took place inbetween ME1 and ME2. Today, I've learned.

Either way, back to Wrex, who is currently Cowboy Bebopping his way off an elevator.

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I'm not even kidding, I'm not sure where he is, but he lights that place up.

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Anyway, here it is! The final confrontation with Fist!

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So exciting!

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... huh? Well, okay, but Wrex is a professional merc. He'll find him with all his professional merc skills. I wonder which one he'll use first?

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... I am not even bullshitting, go read the comic, that's how Foundations 2 ends. We hunt Fist for 25 pages, we get to the end, and Wrex is just like, "Welp!" and walks off. What. The. Fuck.

But that's okay, I'm sure that's the last time we'll be let down by the ending to a Bioware property.

(On a very ornery side note, I'm so curious to know how DA:I ends. I have no idea what the plot of Dragon Age is, so I probably wouldn't understand the details, I just wonder if it's the total opposite of ME3's ending.)