Wednesday, August 6, 2014

I Can't Draw Bourbon Bottles

All right, so what could be so important that I wanted to spend an entire entry on it?

Cut the horse shit, you all know we're going to go see Joker in the bar.

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Y'all knew I'd be mad.

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You, ps, you have the option to, uh,

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I swear to hell I think Shepard would flirt with a chair. It's okay, though, she's the protagonist in a science fiction story.

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The first time I saw this, it was a magical moment.

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Husbando~, who was cooking dinner at the time, heard me screaming and ran in the room.

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After getting the most bewildered look, I figured out my disfunction. I'm assuming I'm getting a bewildered look from you now, so I'd better explain myself:

Between Mass Effects 2 and 3, I decided that Joker and Shepard kind of looked like each other, so I made up a neat little story about them being cousins, raised on the same ship and everything. It was very cute.

In the interim, I TOTALLY FORGOT that I made this up, and I thought it was 250% true. So when I saw this, I thought Bioware was like, "Naw, naw, fuckin' your cousin, that's a cool thing to do." It's like, damn Bioware, I'm the one from the south, not you.

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Anyway, this happens:

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Well?

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Look, let's not lie, there's only one way we're getting through this shit.

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Joker will go dance with EDI for a bit, even though he can't walk. Bioware has a spectacular grip on this whole "disabled" thing.

Eventually, you'll find Joker and EDI at a table. Joker will excuse himself, because you totally want to talk to EDI right now.

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EDI would be a wonderful character if she wasn't such a shitty character.

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