The Sex Boat: Intimate Conversations For A Sensual Evening

Holy fuck I forgot what chatty bitches the Normandy crew was.

Big fuck you this morning goes out to Photobucket for not letting me upload files. I like photobucket because it doesn't compress the images lime imgur does, but holy crapola, get your shit together.

I remember when I had a much shittier tablet.

Rumor has it that Chawkwas wants to talk to us. Now, why would that be?

Why would it ever be.

"Bean, what the hell are you talking about?" Okay, so I glitched my game during the final conversation with Chawkwas and this happened:

Chawkwas actually got so drunk that she clipped through her own desk.

I think Javik wants us too.

Jesus Christ, Mass Effect.

A Favor, MSPals

Follow me on a journey.

When I was doing Mass Effect 2, any time a story began on the Normandy, I was able to do these little introductory comics of just general quality-of-life stories on the Normandy.

Now Mass Effect 3, that game mostly takes place off the Normandy, so I didn't get to do them as much.

But I miss them! Since we just completed Cronos Station, would you all ... would you all be cool if I just took an entry and played on the Normandy for a bit? It might be my last chance.

Honestly, there's much more Mass Effect after this, muuuuuuuuuuuuch more, but you do understand what's next, right?

Anyway, let's go.

I thought this was where the sex scene was, true story. I still think this would be a better place for some Bioware brand bangin.

"How to draw a scuba mask on a Prothean," and other problems that the Bioware art team doesn't have to solve but I do.

Oh man, remember in Mass Effect 2 when Joker would watch porn in the cock pit? Good times.

Not drawing porn! I mean, I draw Mass Effect all the time and that's basically porn, but still!

Enjoy that censor bar.

oh my god the face on chawkwas

In certain conditions, you can get a scene where the dudes of the Normandy gather to play poker. I didn't get them, but enjoy this anyway.

It's also possible that I don't know anything at all about poker.

... something about Mass Effect universe characters sittin and chillin with a little X Files.

NEXT TIME: it begins

Cronos Station: More Like Assault On MY EYES

I have bitched about this since ME1 and I don't even care:

Anyway, this damn thing has a plot and probably we should get to it.

A thousand years ago Miranda tracked Kai Leng to Cerberus' own Cronos Station for us, so let's go fuck that up.

That thing still looks just so much like a penis.

I totally 100% forgot that the sex scene happens here! I thought that it happened right before the last assault on Spoiler Planet! Stick Figure Me isn't lying, I literally just started the damn XBox up and bam, fucking. Mass Effect.

I feel like a bad story teller, because we totally just had two sex scenes in a row. Poor Shepard's going to be sore when she rolls up to Cronos Station.

... you know what, though? Let's do something else. Indulge me just a little bit. We'll get to the sex scene, I promise.

As much as I hate it, this happened. BioWare actually spared us from it, I was surprised.