Foundations: Hindsight

Holy crap. Okay, so I thought I had this comic, right? I did not. Comixology wouldn't let me buy a copy on my iPad, because apparently if you have an iPad 1 then your money's no good. I called local comic shops, and they didn't have it. Some of them didn't pick up the phone even, so that was awesome. I tried so many ways to buy this stupid thing. You know how I had to wind up getting it?

We don't have to discuss how I wound up getting it.

Mass Effect Foundation #13 is the last comic in the Foundation series, released July 23rd, 2014. It has Kai Leng on the cover, and then also nowhere else.

It starts out with Brooks (Rasa, really) remembering being a little girl and getting her head shaven to look like a little boy before we cut to this idyllic scene in a laboratory:

Turns out they don't need the clone, see, so it's murderin' time.

Oh shit! If only there were a Cerberus higher up that could help us!

I can think of one.

"Wow Bean, that's a funny joke!" No, see, that actually happens in the comics, Brooks hacks the station and puts some Blasto on.

Anyway, Brooks makes off with the clone. The art is really unclear, so I guess she's all like:

Thankfully, Miranda's on the case.

They fight for pages, probably. Here's the thing: the art is super unclear as to what's going on. You're getting more out of MSPixel right now. They beat each other up inside the station, and then outside the station again I guess?

To make it better, Miranda's wearing a black Cerberus uniform with white accents, and Rasa's got on a white Cerberus uniform with black accents, and when they're lit, you're not going to tell them apart. Also, Rasa is drawn with considerably lighter skin in the comic books because comic books are bad. Overall, it's usually pretty hard to tell who you're even looking at.

It's implied somehow that Kai Leng and Rasa are working on this together, but why? Kai Leng is with The Illusive Man. Is Brother TIM just jacking the clone from himself?!

Also that one little sad LOKI mech wastes, like, everybody.

Rasa eventually chucks Clone Shep in a shuttle and nopes out of ... you know, I'm assuming it's Lazarus Station because Miranda's around, but I don't have hard proof of that.

Shit, we'd better go tell Brother TIM.

... okay, so, hindsight is 20 20 and all, but ...

Is anyone else amazed that he's just all Let It Go on this? Like, he spent money on that clone. Shepard isn't alive yet, she might need those organs. Also, oh, I don't know, A ROGUE AGENT HAS HIS CLONE AND SHIT!?

Cerberus is about the worst terrorist organization ever.

Mass Effect Foundations: Say WHO?

Y'all know how we do here at MSPixel headquarters: game, dlc, comic. Game, dlc, comic. Guess what it's time for!

Since I get to pick, I'm picking Foundations 1, released on July 24th, 2013. You can read more of the Foundations MSPixels here.

Foundations 1 doesn't actually start with a squad member. Instead, it starts on a mining colony, three years after the First Contact War.

I am not actually sure why there's a mining colony where little kids just, like grab rocks and move them around.

Meet the protagonist of our story. I'm not actually sure she has a name! They never mention it. But she sure does punch a lot. She asks the foreman about a mysterious figure named Roth before kicking his ass.

She takes the kid to a hospital and tells him to play sick.

While there, she shuffles through some files and picks up ... a box. It's full of ... I don't know, progressively tinier boxes. She then dresses up like a doctor.

I am super unsure about, say, the first third of this story. Like, okay, she's looking for a guy named Roth. So she asks the foreman. Cool. Then she takes this random ass kid, goes to a hospital, grabs a box full of question marks, and then asks ANOTHER guy where Roth lives? And he knows? Why didn't the story start right here, with her asking the guy where Roth was? If we still had to have the kid in tow, he could have just been, like, chilling with the guy. But she ditched the kid at the hospital. Holy hell this story could have used a second draft.

I mean, I know the answer, the answer is "they had twenty five pages to fill," but come on.

Anyway, she goes to Roth's place and encounters a guard.

whoops

Remember that this is before the events of ME1, even, so she means that big old Yahg dude, not Liara.

... wait, is this about the creation of Cerberus?

Either way, they start to beat each other up.

I have one "beat up" pose I can draw and by fuck I'm'a draw it.

Shit, looks like we're off to Earth again. Our mystery lady boards a space ship.

Oh fuck.

"Bean, this is all very well and good," you say, sighing at your monitor, or in some cases according to Google Analytics your android, "but why the hell are you telling us this story about two characters we don't know nor give a fuck about?"

Let us go to the last panels of the comic:

That little girl grew up to be Brooks, yo.

Brooks actually pops up in all the Foundations comics. I've written her out of all the other Foundation comics. See? Read here and see if you can tell where.

Hey, choice time for you, dear readers: would you prefer another comic on Wednesday, or purestrain Mass Effect? I know what I want, but I figured I'd leave it to you. Let me know in the comments.

Citadel DLC: Ocean's Shepard

Last time on MSPixel, we ... well, that happened. Anyway.

So, after changing into that humiliating short ass dress, we're allowed to choose our date for the casino. You can actually pick Wrex here, which is hilarious, but instead I'll dance with the girl I came with.

So there's this red carpet scene?

Everyone else loves the red carpet scene, I get second hand embarrassment from it. It's pretty bad.

One of the complaints about Mass Effect 3 was that there weren't enough romance scenes. Some people wanted a dating DLC where you could actually go out and do stuff with your significant other. No, really, and they were gonna pay money for it, too. Like, JFC, either get a real date or discover An Archive Of Our Own.

I like the romance scenes, but if it's not obvious, I don't have a high tolerance for overly scmoopy crap. I think what Bioware gave us was a nice compromise.

Liara says to mingle with the other casino patrons to look natural. Get surprised, Shepard's not a not a mingler.

Eventually, Brooks figures out how to slip into the casino's panic room.

The contacts make the wires glow colors.

Oh, and also it makes your eyes glow green. I'm glad we were worried about being conspicuous.

Brooks will sometimes call in and give you a little mini mission.

Of course, being a video game and all, you then do the mini mission.

One time Garrus does it, which is ... weird.

When you finish, Shepard will call Brooks.

Anyway, off to the panic room with us!

I'd like to take this moment to congratulate Khan for being the one motherfucker in the 2180s who uses a desktop instead of a space iPad.

There's this big static-ey screen overtop that lights up. You know what? I think I see -- you know what, never mind, that's likely my bad art.

.... annnnnnnnnnnnd Brooks is the only one trying to earn her paycheck today.