Thank you, Mr. Foss, you have changed many a heart today. (No, seriously, thank you, I love it when you guys do crazy stuff for me!)
Okay, so last time we were running away furiously, right? Quick! Everyone to the elevator!
Oh hush, Camp Chrono is nigh upon us and y'all goin' have to get used to some Chrono Trigger around here.
Story time? Story time. I seem to remember a ton of these jrpg "get in the elevator and fight the guys!" sequences from the SNES era. In an effort to spare y'all more Chrono Trigger, I went looking for a screenshot of the one from Final Fantasy 3. 6. Whatever makes you yell at me less. Am I making that up? I thought there was one! I couldn't find it, though, so I typed in "chrono trigger elevator." GIS spit out a screenshot of the elevators in Mass Effect 1.
Sunrise, sunset, children.
The point I'm trying to make is, we're in an elevator, this is ... not quite an RPG, but it's grandaddy was one, so we should know what comes next.
Yeah, yeah, naw, she can save the whole citadel, bring down an entire hive of collectors, but naw I totes believe a wayward shot from some punk robot tipped Commander Vertigo Shepard over the edge of a jrpg elevator.
Probably thrown in there for the talimancers. Gross. Let's continue on. Shepard eventually comes up on some bigass ball.
Since this is a jrpg it's probably mako naw, but freal, let's see:
I'm sorry, I've laughed about Dashcon for days.
Okay, but freals:
So before we help Legion down, let's talk it to death!
Tali has a damn point, Legion is right there at the epicenter of the broadcast. But naw, Shepard trusts him because ... um ... I don't know, I guess once a man wears your titty, you have an unbreakable bond.
Obviously Shepard took one look at Scott Foss' fanart and was convinced.
Legion is retelling the Morning War very quickly, of course. Remember, "creators" is the geth word for "quarians" and "old machines" are "reapers."
And we'll go into it more later, but the geth gained sentience, the quarians flipped the hell out, war war war, and we then come to the events of the Mass Effect series.
Hold on. Old machines and geth together. Didn't we already do a mission like this? Does that mean ... ?
Okay, so, uh, Legion's loyalty mission was bullshit. That's always a good feeling.
Like Legion says, you can undo it on the far side of the room.
Wow! That sure is violent! Luckily next time we won't have any violence or shooting or anything!
NEXT TIME: I am a liar.
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