It's all in parts on a table on the Normandy. See all the parts? I always felt like it must take 45+ minutes to get all that shit on. I don't put my Shepard in makeup in part to have some mercy on her.
He actually says that, isn't the world magical?!
I am pretty sure you can order Vega off the ship at this point. I consider it every damn time, but I won't.
Joker's got a priority message from Hackett! We need to get in on that.
Does this sound like it's going somewhere?
That's more or less the explanation the game's going to give you.
Husbando~ has a theory that yeah, Hackett and Anderson are both admirals now, but Anderson's like a rear admiral or something and the game never tells you, which is why Shepard's allowed to gleefully ignore her orders to go to the Citadel. The game doesn't think that hard about it, it's just, "Citadel! No! Mars! Okay!"
Okay, before we go on, we're going to have to talk about this: Vega will insert Spanish into his speech.
"Hey, Bean, shouldn't the universal translator pick up the Spanish and translate it to English?" Yeah, you're right, it probably should. I don't know why it doesn't. But anyway, please understand that the game script is doing this, this isn't me adding it in to add some spice.
But ... see, here's the weird thing. Can you name another Mass Effect character that's hispanic?
There's actually four. Everyone who's played ME3 through just named off a spoiler character, we're not going to talk about that guy yet. Name another. Hey, MSPaint has a feature where it'll add arrows to pictures, why don't you use an arrow to point out the hispanic characters?
Sort of! Steven Hackett was born in Buenos Aires and, so far as I can tell, spent his childhood there. But look at his ass, he's sheet white. I think it was more of a John McCain sort of thing. Name another character.
Hey, good thinking! Bioware hasn't ever really confirmed what Ashley's race/heritage is, I don't think, but she was raised in Brazil and she's got a rad tan, so I think 'hispanic' is a fair inference. There's one other beloved hispanical MSPixel character, though, try and guess who he is.
I know it's hard to tell from my photorealistic rendering, but Husbando~ is biracial, and one of those bi parts is from Columbia.
Is Vega adding so much Spanish in his speech a fair repressentation? I'm white, I don't feel like I should get an opinion. Sometimes I ask husbando~ though, since this is his turf. It kind of depends, sometimes he'll tell you:
And sometimes he's more on the train of:
So I'm not sure what husbando~ thinks once and for all. I don't know there is an answer, since there's, like, more than one hispanic person in the world and they probably all have their own opinions and sometimes they disagree and shit. I just want you all to know that I'll do what I can to be respectful about Vega's Spanish.
... that wasn't a joke though, husbando~ had to translate a lot of Mass Effect 3 for me.
Anyway, let's land the shuttle on Mars.
What? Mars is red.
Did anyone promise you good art? No one promised you good art.
As Shepard, Ashley and Vega go along the martian landscape, they come on some Cerberus soldiers.
I have literally no idea how to play this section, because I play vanguard, the single greatest class Bioware has ever made. (Rogue? Ffft. Dragon Age needs vanguards.)
This conversation changes, I'm sure, if you did Ashley in ME1. There's a lot on Mars that changes if you did Ashley in ME1. ... I'm just not 100% what all of it is.
There's actually a lot that changes on Mars depending on who you did on ME1! However, I did no one, because I'm boring. We'll just have to trudge forward.
NEXT TIME: another, better introduction
Speaking as a Skinny-Mexican-Irish-American-Fair Trade Blend Cappuccino from the Border with Mexico: We really do speak that way. So maybe we don't drop "loco" in every other sentence, but it's a rare occasion that I don't slip into a half-English, half-Spanish sentence in a conversation.
ReplyDelete