Because Wal-Mart has your back, man. Wal-mart's got you.
Okay, so. Homeworlds. Homeworlds is a four-issue comic book, each issue concentrating on a character from the Mass Effect series. We already visited Homeworlds 2 with Tali. In that entry, I was trying to keep some spoilers from you all, but we're at a point where Homeworlds isn't going to spoil shit for anyone, so I can be more clear:
- Homeworlds 1 is about James Vega. It probably came first because Vega was shiny and new and people were interested in him. This comic sucks and Vega sucks so I'm not touching it. (It takes place on fucking Earth! This is Mass Effect! Set it somewhere nuts! Why would you set your rad ass sci fi story with blue ladies and giant tentacle aliens ON EARTH!?)
- We did Homeworlds 2, that's Tali. It's neat because it explains how Tali got ahold of Holyshitsarenisguiltyasthelivinghell.mp3.
- Homeworlds 3 is Garrus, and spoils the shit out of his recruitment mission. It's not bad, but it's not a story like the others, it's a disjointed collection of scenes. I have no idea how to MSPixel it. Still kind of neat if you're a Garrus fan.
- Homeworlds 4 is Liara.
Anyway, this comic starts out with Liara talking to Admiral Hackett:
Liara and Hackett are, by the way, totes best girlfriends now. I'm not sure how Hackett got in contact with her. I mean, he knew her from ME1, but, like, tangentally? He went from reading her name on Shepard's reports to omg ~totally~ BFFs who watch Lifetime together and empty cartons of Ben and Jerry's while doing so.
Whichever. Hackett wants information on the reapers, and was hoping Liara would have information, what with her broking shadows and shit. All Liara knows is that the Protheans might have had a reaper weapon that might be fixable if we could get ahold of it.
Anyway, since Hackett is her bestie 5ever, she travels to Thessia to check through the asari archives.
Kay, so, Liara decides to go to Kahje. The comic book is really confusing here: it calls Kahje a drell settlement. Which is true, but:
Why the fuck is it floating on water?
NERD SCIENCE LESSON TIME: Drell don't do well with humidity. It gets in their gills and makes them cough and stuff. Way too much humidity causes something called Kepral's Syndrome, which is what Thane is busy dying from.
I had to look this up, but Kahje is the hanar homeworld. The drell's homeworld, Rakhana, was once a desert planet that could support life. However, the drell don't give a hoot, they pollute. The hanar kindly evacuated the drell to Kahje, which was kind, but they can't really live there? But they do anyway? Shit's weird.
Liara needs to get to the Prothean archive on Kahje, so a drell named Quoyle offers to take her in his submarine ship thing. I have no idea why a desert species is also awesome at underwater navigation, just go with me here.
no one promised you good art
Shit! The archive's defense system is firing at them! It manages to hit, causing the ship to leak.
Which holy crap is so true and we will have a long discussion about that once we get to ME3 multiplayer but right now, hey, we made it into the archives!
Liara begins to read up when an old friend calls her.
I'm not sure why The Illusive Man, leader of CERBERUS thinks an alien is going to play ball, but I guess we gotta give Brother TIM props for trying?
Liara disconnects the call, and for some reason Quoyle is super impressed that Liara cold hung up on him.
So anyway, let's report back to Hackett.
Hey, Liara, what should be our next move?
Don't forget, humans discovered the Prothean archive on Mars, which is what allowed them to propel into the universe and start a war with the turians. Liara seems to think the Mars archive will have some good shit.
Maybe we'll run into her soon!
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