For We Are Many

So last time we had this geth body, right? We probably ought to start that fucker up. The Cerberus staff put the geth in the AI core, because ... actually, wouldn't that be the worst place for a geth? Once you fire the robot up, wouldn't it just network with EDI and cause all kinds of havoc?

Fuckin'a, just start it up in the air lock. That way if it goes ape shit, you can just space it.

Thanks, Random Guard Guy #246 that we've never seen before and never will see again.

Why does everyone in the Mass Effect universe salute with their left hand?

... a likely story. All right, geth, go on.

This is what happens in the damn game, if I'm lying I'm flying.

The geth have different words for some things we've already encountered. "Old machines" is geth for "reapers."

... did you all hear that? Read those three panels again.

I won't spoil it for you, but this ties strongly into the final solution in Mass Effect 3. If you've played the end, doesn't this all sound a little familiar?

... okay, now here we go, for those of us who've played Mass Effect 3, I'm going to blow your mind. Watch, you forgot about this shit, but it happens big as life:

That happens. Really truly, that is in Mass Effect 2. If you've played the end of Mass Effect 3, you are dying right now. Are you not? Did you not just shit yourself right there?

If you haven't played ME3, just promise me you'll keep those two events in the back of your mind.

Okay, if you just got that, we can totes be friends.

But legit, this is what EDI actually says in this scene:

So our mystery geth has a name, and from here on out, we shall call it Legion, for it is many.

Let's throw the barrier down, then. Welcome, Legion!

NEXT TIME:

Hey, what the hell? I'm trying to do a next time joke!

... well then!

NEXT TIME: It'll be Wednesday, I know that much.

The Derelict Reaper

The Mass Effect universe seems to pretend that everyone's equally competent with technology. Do you really think so?

... I mean, come on, Thane's like a hundred. You know he's rocking some sort of omnitool Jitterbug.

(Thanks for sticking with me while I couldn't post last week. Would an extra long entry today make it up to you?)

Wasn't there, like, some kind of plot going on? I know there's a third DLC, we'll take it on later.

If you'll remember, like eight million years ago, Brother TIM told us that we could go raid this derelict reaper and get the IFF, which will let us go through the Omega 4 Relay and then get to the Collector Base which we'll then destroy. It's okay, it's hard to forget that while we're fucking sex vampires and watching turians shit.

So anyway, let's roll up to the reaper.

Holy raw shit why do you all even come to this blog.

That's the plan! Good work, kids!

Still, let's go looking for that engine core. Oh, and the IFF.

This place is raw crawling with husks. It isn't a problem for a vanguard, though:

Particularly one with area pull. The recharge on pull is so fast that it's nothing to just light every husk up and float them off.

There's this one ramp in this level that you can just stand on top of and cast until they all die, and they come right when pull recharges, same interval. It's pretty rad.

No, really, one of your squadmates will call out "Sniper!", listen close for it. If you've got a sniper rifle on your person, you can actually look around and see the mystery sniper.

But who the hell is it? Obviously it's not Garrus, he's the one standing around yelling about it, and Miranda can't snipe, sooooo ... ?

... DID THAT GETH JUST TALK?!

... that too, Garrus, that too.

(Networked intelligence means that geth get smarter when they get closer to each other, like they can use the other's processors over wifi or something. I have no living clue why the quarians thought that was a good idea. That's how they lost an entire planet, I guess.)

Fuckin'a, we've got a smartass talking geth running around, and we're trapped on this reaper until we bust the engine. At this rate, we'll never find the IFF --

... they just leave it out in the open?

Well. Huh. Okay, then. Let's go find the engine and blow it up then, I guess.

The geth takes down the barrier just as the husks take him down. I guess geth don't train in hand to hand combat.

True story, the first time I played this sequence, the game glitched and I got Shepard stuck. What did I do? Easy solution.

Meet the Cain, the heaviest weapon in the game. It only carries two shots, but both of those shots are tac nukes, capable of taking out, say, an entire reaper core, even if, for example, your game is all glitched out and Shepard's stuck in one place.

PS, Star Trek 12 is awesome, go see it this very instant.

Let us now go to the Normandy Conference room. I heard Miranda and Jacob have something to say.

NEXT TIME: A character you will like better than Jacob.