Samara: Half Baked

We would be remiss if we did not take some time to visit one of the most popular NPCs in the Mass Effect universe.

I actually thought about skipping him, but how could you?

It may be up for some debate as to how he got so biotic --

-- yeah, okay, so no it's not.

I love moments in the Mass Effect universe where you see all these wild, fantastic aliens in all these hyperfuturistic settings doing average joe shit.

Like sitting with your feet up, dicking around on your space kindle.

Or drinking a coke. Also apparently coke survived this far into the future.

So begins the boss battle to the end of this section: you take out the coke drinking Eclipse merc, you get the justicar. Easy, right?

Okay, remember that red sand Pitne For was smuggling? He left it laying around, the jackass, and now there's red sand all over the battle field.

It doesn't do anything to characters who don't have biotics. I'm not even sure it raises their toxitiy level, but I don't know.

Biotic characters, though, get kite high and get like hella biotic. Which is nice for taking the Eclipse merc out.

DAMN biotic detonation as a vanguard rules. Try that shit. Try that shit in multiplayer, even. Truly, it is the raddest.

After the fight:

So! Let's bring three entries worth of shit to the detective, and see what's what!

... I think that Sex Boat entry is the most popular thing I have ever written in my life time. I think they're going to put Sex Boat on my grave. That's one of the more popular keywords for getting to MSPixel, did you know?

By the way, I was checking on my keywords the other day, and someone got to MSPixel using the search, "tali gets fucked by geth hentai". What in the hell do you think I'm drawing here!? I don't even what to know who that was. Don't tell me.

... this is actually factually what happens, Shepard hands off the evidence, the detective says she can't use it, Samara says she can, and the detective's like, "rad, I totally can now."

... WHAT. I have a VERY good understanding of the legal system because I've watched HUNDREDS OF HOURS of Law and Order, original AND SVU thanks so much, and I don't think it quite works like that! Unless asari courts are different? Bioware's Canadian, does Canadian law work like this? Like, "Oh, you said this evidence is good, ey? Oh, it's okay, we trust you know what yer talking aboot."

Wait, I don't think they have murder in Canada. Don't they just like, get mad and shake their fists instead? Maybe that's why Bioware has such a loose understanding of what a law even is.

But then, we still come to the matter that Shepard's murdered hundreds of bodies inside a crime scene and no one gives a shit, so maybe I should just stop talking.