Inthane in the Membrane

As Shepard goes along, she keeps finding rooms full of Salarian workers hiding from all the chaos.

So anyway, let's go get to Nasana Dantius, and by extension, Thane.

Shepard and pals have to cross this windy bridge, and I think it's supposed to affect gameplay? Maybe if you're a sniper person. Vanguard overhere don't notice a difference.

Nasana lives in this big ass tower, and rolling up to it is not at all like rolling up to the final castle in a fantasy game. Don't forget Bioware's roots, kids. I mean, look, there was a drawbridge and everything!

You know, Mario can eat it, when I think of The Final Level of a video game, I always think of Pete's castle at the end of The Magical Quest Starring Mickey Mouse. That was a HELL of a game, you all ought to take an afternoon to play it. That was the first game I ever bought with my own money. And beat! The sequel was pretty good too. What was that one called, The Great Circus Mystery or something? It was spectacular, go play it. It's two player co-op, too, which PS WHY didn't Mass Effect 3 have?

That is a hell of a derail, good thing no one ever reads the text!

I think you're supposed to take cover and shoot the mercs down off the balcony, but like I said, vanguard. Those mercs can eat area pull.

Some one will argue that I should have gone for heavy pull, but I love area pull ever so much.

And now, finally, Shep and the Shepettes come to Nasana, who is frantically fighting for her life.

Meanwhile, in the vents:

WELL! Mr. Krios can take care of his own shit, that's for sure!

(I know you can tell from my delicate renderings that look exactly like they were carved scrimshaw, but just in case, Thane is a drell. You can probably figure out where this is about to go.)

Thane lays Nasana out on her desk.

Well then!

We're going to have to air this out right here: I've got no beef with Thane personally, but you've already figured out that I didn't plan on doing him. He's the third romance option, and you can totally do him, by the way. I guess if you're going to do an alien, he's not awful looking? Then, I wouldn't have sex with a turian either, so.

I don't do Thane's romance path because ... okay, when people blink they look like --, right? Thane does this thing where he blinks, and his eyes shut like ||. It freaks me out so badly that I couldn't have Shepard flirt with him if I wanted to. Sorry, I know there's people out there who are big Thane fans.

More for Tali I guess.

Every character, once recruited, gets a lovely scene in the conference room where Shepard welcomes them to the Sex Boat Normandy. It serves as a solemn reminder that I can't draw the conference room.

Horny ass game.

NEXT TIME: A little bit of T and A. You know, like always.