Citadel DLC: Ocean's Shepard

Last time on MSPixel, we ... well, that happened. Anyway.

So, after changing into that humiliating short ass dress, we're allowed to choose our date for the casino. You can actually pick Wrex here, which is hilarious, but instead I'll dance with the girl I came with.

So there's this red carpet scene?

Everyone else loves the red carpet scene, I get second hand embarrassment from it. It's pretty bad.

One of the complaints about Mass Effect 3 was that there weren't enough romance scenes. Some people wanted a dating DLC where you could actually go out and do stuff with your significant other. No, really, and they were gonna pay money for it, too. Like, JFC, either get a real date or discover An Archive Of Our Own.

I like the romance scenes, but if it's not obvious, I don't have a high tolerance for overly scmoopy crap. I think what Bioware gave us was a nice compromise.

Liara says to mingle with the other casino patrons to look natural. Get surprised, Shepard's not a not a mingler.

Eventually, Brooks figures out how to slip into the casino's panic room.

The contacts make the wires glow colors.

Oh, and also it makes your eyes glow green. I'm glad we were worried about being conspicuous.

Brooks will sometimes call in and give you a little mini mission.

Of course, being a video game and all, you then do the mini mission.

One time Garrus does it, which is ... weird.

When you finish, Shepard will call Brooks.

Anyway, off to the panic room with us!

I'd like to take this moment to congratulate Khan for being the one motherfucker in the 2180s who uses a desktop instead of a space iPad.

There's this big static-ey screen overtop that lights up. You know what? I think I see -- you know what, never mind, that's likely my bad art.

.... annnnnnnnnnnnd Brooks is the only one trying to earn her paycheck today.

MSPixel Madness: Amiibo Tournament Day 4

HOLY HELL did anyone go amiibo hunting today? Here's my day, in bullet points:

• By a fluke, I ordered two Jigglypuffs, one for me and one for my best amiibo hunting buddy who I was texting at the time. (It was horrible, when preorders went live I texted him, "TARGET," because I had literally no time to text anything else. Autocorrect made it "TARGER," but he understood.) However, my amiibro also ordered two, one for him and one for me. Aww.
• Best Buy preorders went live while I was driving. By the time I pulled over, Lucina was gone and I couldn't grab her. I tried too many times and got fucked out of Robin, too. I obviously should have crashed my car instead.
• I was off work today, so I went into to Gamestop. I was first in line, but I let #2 take my spot. It took a full hour for the poor son of a bitch to get his order in. He only wanted three!
• I got my order in for Ness! And the Splatoon trio! I wanted Lucina and Robin, but they sold out, probably as my order was placed. What do you do. I'm reasonably sure I'll see Robin in stores, and surely to hell I can place a preorder somewhere for the two of them. TRU, Walmart and Target's preorders haven't gone live yet, and I'm sort of faithful that Best Buy and Game Stop will put up more.
• But fuck off, I got Ness! I GOT NESS.
• Someone at Gamestop pulled me aside and very quietly offered to buy my extra Jigglypuff, as if we were dealing heroin instead of amiibos.

Either way, let's look at today's match up!

Today we fought on Norfair! Honestly, it was kind of a dull battle. They kept falling into the lava. It's pretty obvious I was the one who trained them.

I thought Mega Man was punching Link in the balls before I saw Kirby. It's a combo ball punch. Team work.

This will not end well for Shulk.

I guess Link is tired of saving Hyrule.

Shiek kicks Kirby's ass, Zelda dives in to rescue him so that she can also kick Kirby's ass.

Today's winner?

Toon Link! Again! The little bastard must be getting good.

I feel like the points aren't as spread this time around this time.

Today's point standings:

MSPixel Madness: Amiibo Tournament Day 3

Let's look at some highlights from today's match up!

Today we were in the Lylat system. It was pretty close quarters.

I love it when the Nintendog pops up.

The Link/Shulk rivlary continues. Could the Links be teaming up?

Speaking of getting Double Linked, Rosalina's not bad with that Luma.

Shulk gets casually hit in the face with a final smash. This level's so teeny that it was nothing for, like, six amiibos to get hit face first with a final smash.

I am disturbed that Kirby wears the wrong Zelda hat.

ISABELLE

And the winner is?

Toon Link! Back pats to him, he's usually pretty bad. He won by +20, too!

Here's our standings:

Toon Link needed that win, he's ahead now. But oh, look: Link and Shulk are tied! Shit's heating up!

Start filling out those brackets!

The Kocari Wilds: Master The Taint

So last time, we met Alistair, and then began tromping around the Kocari wilds, because Duncan said so.

What? Why are you looking at me like that? That's what happened last time, on March 27th, and this is what we're doing on today, this glorious April 1st.

AFter some dark spawn stabbin', we come across what we were looking for.

So all we have to do is grab it, and -- the hell?

Morrigan leads us to Mama Morrigan, but it's pretty uneventful.

Morrigan leads us out of the wilds, so we can go take the dark spawn blood to Duncan.

ha ha what

Naw, surely homeboy wouldn't purposely kill off his own recruits. Let's go to the joining ceremony.

What. You seriously didn't think that at all?

I mean, the guy has a name, but it may as well be Lieutenant Bioware Ser Bioware, because you'll never guess what happens to the fucker.

Duncan would a little bit remind me of Anderson if he weren't SUCH A COLOSSAL DICKWAD.

So anyway, down the hatch, or else we get knifed in the worst way I guess.

It goes as well as you think it does.

Once the warden passes out, she sees a vision of something awful, scaly, with big nasty horns on its head and inhuman eyes.

But, all good things have to come to an end.

(Happy April Fools day. If you need more MSPixel/Dragon Age in your life, check here and here.)