Friday, November 27, 2015

Cronos Station: Mass Effect Ascension

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I love the way Shepard slides down ladders.

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Hold the hell on, I blew the base up, how did Cerberus get ahold of the baby reaper?

I googled it, and apparently, if you give it to Brother TIM, you get the head, and if you blow it up, you get the heart. Which is not a good answer. I exploded it, how did they get the heart?!

Continuing on through --

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-- we come to our final console.

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This time Shepard has no clever dialouge with her squadmates, it's just her, checking out some space YouTube.

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They are, of course, referring to our wonderful friend Paul Grayson, the most important Mass Effect character to never appear on screen. Honestly, if you're going to read one piece of media, I'm going to insist on Mass Effect Ascension.

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There's no conversation between videos, so that responsibility falls on me.

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I honestly thought the point of Sanctuary was to create reaper forces. It was to control humans? ... but Cerberus is trying to save humans?

Plot hole time: okay, so Brother TIM wants to control reapers. And humans. But putting some cybernetics in Shepard to control her and make sure she doesn't, I don't know, steal the SR2, run back to the Alliance and then later bust into the Cerberus base and kill anyone? Why sir, that is horrifying! No controls on Shepard. Only Shepard. What the hell.

... also, on what planet was Sanctuary considered a success?

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Um, I was more hoping that we could discuss the fact that YOU'RE FILLED UP TO THE GODDAMN BRIM WITH REAPER PARTS but ey, if you say cut off the recording, I'll cut it off.

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