Arrival, Part The End

BEFORE WE BEGIN TODAY: I am laughing my ass off at the fact that someone got to my site by the keywords "horny things to do on a boat." Some people will be remembered for their good deeds, I will be remembered for rechristening the Normandy.

Okay, so. Weren't we chasing Kenson to Project Base's core?

That trigger's going to blow the whole base sky high!

There's a renegade interrupt here to shoot Kenson. I've done this section both ways, and I seriously don't remember the difference. Anyway, if you let her live, she manages to blow herself up.

And, like, only herself too. Not Project Base, or Shepard, or anything that would, you know, further her goal?

Fuck it, let's motor.

That sounds like a good idea! Shepard runs out to the docks to see if she can get in on some of that.

welp

Shepard's got to fight through some mercs and a mech here. Here's a gameplay tip for you: you played vanguard like I told you to, right?

Because the Shadow Broker gravity trick works here: all you have to do is hit a merc with a dose of pull, and they go flying off into the atmosphere.

(You notice Joker's never answering any of these calls? Bioware didn't want to pay Seth Green.)

Remember, we didn't kill Brother Harbinger at the end of ME2, we just killed his collector husk.

Anyway, Joker comes along and grabs Shepard (wordlessly, of course) right as the asteroid approaches the mass relay.

I love this scene. The mass relay gets confused and tries to zap the asteroid somewhere. The mass relay gets confused.

The mass relay blows apart. It is visually stunning, please accept this shitty MSPaint as a substitute.

Back on the Normandy, Hackett comes aboard and checks with Chakwas to see if Shepard's up and functional.

Um. Okay, so in sick bay:

Nah, I'm shitting. But seriously.

Hackett's all, "I'm ~hinting~ here, Shepard," and I'm glad she gets it, because if it were me? I'd have no idea what I was supposed to do.

This is the real honest actual factual ending of Mass Effect 2: Shepard is arrested and transported to Earth to sit in a brig and await trial.

Which means this is the real honest actual factual ending of MSPixel's Mass Effect 2 offering. But never fear! For we have Mass Effect 3, which I think will take only the rest of my natural life to MSPaint!

Also, don't forget: we've got to get our MEDIA on! Comic books! Novels! Even that novel! We really aren't even saying goodbye to Shepard, she'll pop in once and say hello.

... I'll save that for another entry, though.

NEXT TIME: My least favorite media to date, and I sat through Paragon Lost. Twice. You think about that shit.