Friday, June 14, 2013

This Post Is Straight Messed Up

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So we're doing this again!

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This shiz is happening in the AI core.

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... is what Shepard should be able to say, but let's listen to each side instead.

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Looks familiar, don't it? Instead of the horse shit that is the Miranda/Jack fight, this one is much easier to pass, AND it's easier to pass as a paragon. So good news, we don't have to take sides!

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how is that paragon

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Does it bother anyone that Legion makes, like, no consessions in this?

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Were you wondering about this?

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And Shepard filled that hole.

Sex joke.

Oh, and, do we realize?

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I love this moment, it's one of the few in ME2 where Shepard shows any kind of real emotion. Man, she gets rightly pissed.

But wait, we need to process this. First of all, does anyone realize that the med bay is right outside? Is Chawkwas listening to this whole thing?

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We really need to process this. Shepard's body landed on Akuze when she died. If she was still there, armor in tact, Legion must've found her first.

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So his reaction was to immediately disrobe her body?

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... I'm not drawing Shepard's stuff. I'm not. It feels disrespectful.

But anyway, she was probably dead and rotting and shit, not to mention broken to hell and back. There's a line in ME3 that suggests that the helmet protected her head, and if her tittyplate was in tact then her chest must not've been totally gone, but still, she's got to be all broken and gross!

(The story ignores the fact that there's no way that Shepard's body would both survive reentry into an atmosphere and impact onto a planet's surface.

Anyway, Legion's first idea is to fucking rip the clothes off a corpse? Oh my God. OH MY GOD. Fuck that pervert robot. Fuck him in the USB port. Wait, don't, he might like that.

And then he just left her, there, didn't he!

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The Shadow Broker sent Blue Mercs to recover Shepard's body to sell to Harbinger. (Oh shit. Oh shit. He was going to deliver Shepard's naked dead body to Harbinger. Oh shit. I don't want to live in this world right now.)

Would you want to be that poor schmoe merc?

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This is one of the more fucked up parables in the Mass Effect universe, and no one ever talks about it!

Luckily, I'm here to render it for you in stunning MSPaint.

NEXT TIME: Everyone keeps their clothes on.

Ha, fuck it, this is Mass Effect, let's all just tear our clothes off right now.

2 comments:

  1. I honestly never thought about it before. I figure Legion found her body in space (therefore in one piece and note freaking gross). I also though it was a shoulder piece. I never realized it was chest armor.

    Wow that's nasty. O_o

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  2. I was under the impression that Shephard's body was already recovered and Legion found the armor fragment months after the fact and since Legion is a Shepard fan-boy/girl/thing/programs it took the armor fragment as a souvenir.

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