Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Samara: THIS. IS. MASS EFFECT.

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Hopefully that's all the alien sex we have to deal with today! Hey, speaking of exposed chests, Samara wants to see her. Wonder what's going on with this?

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Fucking blue hell shit fuck damnit Bioware.

No, this is this mission. We're going to go have sex with Samara's daughter. Samara is a sex vampire hunter, remember, of course she is, because this is a Bioware game. Why the hell would she hunt any other vampires? Who do you think made this game, fucking Valve? I don't see no Big Daddies or Covenant aliens, jack. Clear eyes, full hearts, lube up, THIS IS BIOWARE.

Horny ass game. Of course it is. We already watched Grunt get his first erection, it's not like the Bioware writers have proven themselves shy or squeemish or anything.

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Fuck it. What is Shepard, if not Captain James T. Kirk, the finest officer Star Fleet has ever known? That was a man who had a chick bent over the bridge console like once every eight hours. I'm honestly quite surprised it took us this long to get to a "sex up an alien" plot.

Samara thinks that Morinth is on Omega. She suggests that perhaps we can ask Aria where, exactly, Morinth is on the station. Isn't that kind of space racist? Whatever, let's go and get it over with.

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Let's go off to the tenements, then. When Samara and Shepard get over there, they find a crying woman.

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(Ardat-yakshi kill their prey by overloading their nervous system.)

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Nef's mom lets them into Nef's apartment to search for clues.

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(Diaries are holographic in the future.)

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3 comments:

  1. It always confused me how Morinth has apparently NO CLUE who Commander Shepard is.

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    Replies
    1. You know? I never thought of that. Morinth does not, however, ask Shepard's name, so maybe she just ... didn't know?

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    2. But how does she not recognize Shepard's neon orange hair?

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