I Left My Heart In Tuchanka

Before we go on today, we have another example of you all being smarter than me: knights-honour tells me that the krogan in the krogan anime on Hock's house is Nax, from Mass Effect Galaxy. I tried to get ahold of Galaxy for MSPixel, but it's down from the iTunes store! My disappointment is deep.

But Kelly tells me Mordin needs some attention. Yo, Mordin, what's up?

(Mordin apparently has been borrowing Kahlee Sanders' science kit.) I bet they both got the same degree in Science from Space University.

OKAY THEN?!

Fuck, Mordin, honey, we need to have a talk about secret keeping!

... uh, okay, so apparently we're going to IGNORE THAT temporarily and go look for Mordin's old student, Maelon. Maelon's being held on Tuchanka, the krogan homeworld.

When Shep and company arrive on Tuchanka:

So, sure, let's go see this leader guy.

Tuchanka is an entire planet of ruin. Remember, the krogan are all pissed off because their balls don't work (they have four balls), so they run around fighting each other. As a result, they've near torn up their entire planet.

Sometimes I wonder if you wall just look at my art and cry.

The krogan leader is up on a stone dais.

I'm not shitting either, that is TOTALLY Wrex! Don't even doubt it!

I love how people who have actually played the game are sitting there going, "Yes. Yes, this is 100% canon, this is what happened, rendered in stunning clarity.

In short, Wrex is the first krogan political scientist. He's probably the first krogan ever interested in something other than tearing up the planet. You'll notice that all the things he says is leading the krogan toward his original idea that the krogan should be fucking 28 hours a day, because this is Mass Effect, and if we can solve something by fucking, by God in Heaven we're going to solve something by fucking.

Don't worry, Wrex doesn't put all four balls on a lady's back. In this game.

For whatever reason, not every krogan is down with the idea of fucking to fix the genophage. I don't know, don't they teach biology on Tuchanka?

get it because that guy's voiced by michael dorn

Weren't we on a mission or some shit?

Before we go, we should visit one more Tuchankan resident.

There's a minigame here, it's not too hard. Shepard shoots some pyjacks (some little rat monkey guys) away from the foot stores.

Then, if Shepard returns, she can buy some meat to give to Urz.

NEXT TIME: the post will have four balls

four