Citadel: In The Face

Someone posed something to me. Hang with me on this next paragraph, I promise this is on-topic.

I think we can all agree that The Avengers isn't a good portrayal of Norse mythology. Yes? Good. But, Norse myth is so damn old, and most of it was oral, ergo, we're really never going to have an accurate portrayal of the story of Loki and Thor and pals. It would be like jumping a few thousand years ahead, and trying to talk with someone in the future about Professor Snape. To make it better, all Future Person has is two stained pages from a Harry Potter book, three fanfics (and, if you know anything about Harry Potter fanfiction, you know that that's going to go over well) and maybe 30 seconds of some nerd podcast to go on.

Future Person asks you, was Snape a good guy or a bad guy? But people argue over that NOW, how are you going to talk to Future Person about it? All he knows is that Snape diddled Hermione and turned into an elephant to fuck Remus.

Which led me, in a round about way, to think of story archival. Ye gods, what if all the copies of Mass Effect were destroyed? I know this is a huge stretch, because of all the digital copies, but play pretend with me.

It makes what I'm doing sound way more important that it actually is! What if, in the future, the only record they have of Shepard and pals are my shitty ass drawings?

Ha, sobering.

But seriously. First of all, I've left a few characters out.

What do you do, jam them all in at the last minute in some sort of poorly painted Hail Mary?

But seriously, I'm not sure I like the idea of future generations only having MSPixel to go on.

Even though I think I can sleep at night knowing that in the year 3500, they will know that Kaidan is a turd bag. I'm good with that.

There's a lot, though, that I can't show off. Like the wide open glory of the Presidium, or what it actually feels like to steer the Mako in some lava.

And then, too, there's facts about Shepard that I've lent her that may or may not be true ... hey, future people, not all Shepards were redheads! Not all of them liked peanut butter! Some Shepards call mom sometimes, some don't!

I don't even want to think about Professor Future at Future Horse Shit University writing a paper on the implications of Garrus and Wrex jamming out to One Direction. Wait, speaking of aliens, I haven't left any alien races out, have I?

Is there a way to make this more fair, more even handed?

Fuggit, let's just go to Ilos.

NEXT TIME: Hackett might have some words with us.