DragonCon!

You guys! I'm not home!

I'm in Atlanta for DRAGONCON today! So stoked. But that means we'll have to wait to start Shepard's odyssey through the terminus systems until Wednesday.

But hey, if you're at DragonCon too? I'm going to be at the BioWare thing tomorrow, and the N7 Elite photo shoot too. Hunt me out and wave, okay? I have a really bad picture of my costume sitting poorly on my sewing model! Here it is:

It fits me better, I promise.

If you can't be at DragonCon, no sweat, I'll livetweet all the Mass Effect stuff that I can manage! You are following me on Twitter, right? Throw @MSPixelBlog into your Twittermatron. It'll be awesome, okay?

See you Wednesday for more shitty art!

Ascension: Quick On The Draw

Mass Effect: Ascension is the second book in the book series, and book two of the three books Bioware will admit to publishing. I'm also pretty sure that this is the only one of the four three books that has no playable characters from the games.

This book takes place directly after Mass Effect 1. So, all the characters know Shepard, the whole thing at the Citadel shook down, whole nine. We now resume our story at the John Grissom, Alliance Hero Academy For Kids Who Are Hella Gifted With Biotics, Grissom Academy for short. The Alliance started this special school for biotic kids to help them control their powers and use them for the greater good.

The Alliance was so happy with Kahlee Sanders' actions at Sidon (wait, what?) that they made her Lead Scientist In Charge of Science at Grissom. She monitors the students, uh, levels of, uh, biotic ... thingies ... element zero ... she measures midi-chlorians. Yes. Why the fuck not.

Wasn't she working on AI in the last book? What the hell is her degree in, again? I'm somehow picturing her having a degree in Science from Space University, the same place Liara got her degree in Old Shit.

The kid in the picture there is Gillian Grayson, who is just ate the fuck up with midi-chlorians way super hardcore biotic. She's a special case because she has autism.

That red headed guy there is Jiro, who also ... does ... science. Look, it's a science fiction novel, the actual real science isn't that important. That's right, I said it. Oh, and another thing about Jiro:

eww kissin

At first I was all, "The hell?! ANDERSON!" but then I was like, "No, wait, this rules, I like that she's not all damsel in distress about what happened back in the first book. Good on her. You tap that weird red headed Asian kid, gurl. You go."

Then I was like, "Wait, why does she always have to have a guy in every single one of these books?"

Then I was all, "Fuck me sideways, why do I give this big a shit about who my fictional characters are dating?"

The book makes this big damn deal about how Kahlee's takin' a visit to Cougar Town, if you're picking up what I'm putting down, 'cause she's like 40 and he's like 20. Whatevs, I'm thinkin, go head girl, go head, get down.

So then the scene flips from the HOTBED OF SEX that is Grissom Academy over to Gillian's dad, Paul Grayson, who's currently on a plane.

I've been trying to think of cute ass ways to say this and let you figure it out on your own, but I legit think my art skills aren't up to it there's not a really good way to do this, so I'll just say it: remember that bastard Jack Harper from Evolution? Yeah, he grows up, gets pissed the fuck off at aliens, and becomes The Illusive Man, sometimes shortened to TIM. Old Boy now heads up an organization called Cerberus, dedicated to doing what it can to advance humanity. If a few aliens get stomped on? Feh. If a few humans get stomped on? Feh. Cerberus quite frequently takes "greater good" to its illogical extreme.

Not much happens in the plane scene, except to introduce us to the idea that Gillian's attendance at Grissom is a total Cerberus set up. They got her when she was a baby, gave her to Paul to raise as his own, and then got her into Grissom two years ago. TIM gave Paul a fake life: he's the face CEO of a fake buisness called Cord-Hislop (you get the joke, see, because we went through Evolution together), and he's fake jet setting all the time. But now he's rolling in to see his kid.

So anyway, it's late at night at Grissom, and Kahlee is tucked into her bed.

Uh. Hmm. Whoops. Okay. I guess maybe she's off doing science in the lab?

No. Damn. Where the hell could she -- ?

GIRL! Go on! Get you some! You go!

... oh honey. Oh honey no.

I've been reading all of this Mass Effect media on my iPad, I like it better that way. For one, when something TOTALLY UNBELIEVABLE happens that makes me LAUGH MY ASS OFF FOR A HALF HOUR STRAIGHT, I can screen shot it and reproduce it nicely, like so:

You guys. You guys. Early ejaculation. The world is a beautiful place.

So Kahlee rumbles around in the dark for a bit looking for her clothes -- fuck no I'm not drawing that, I have standards, and they apparently stop right past krogan dick but whatever -- and waxing philosophical about Jiro's ass. Yes, this book was written by a dude, why are you asking? Then, the chief of security at Grissom, Hendel, calls Jiro's room and is all like, "Kahlee, pull out and roll off the poor kid's raw dick, Paul's here!"

So Kahlee gets dressed and greets Paul, then takes her to see Gillian.

Paul visits with Gillian. Sometimes he can get her to talk, sometimes she just stares forward, but whatever, he's just glad to see her. (I had no idea catatonic states were considered an autism symptom?) At the end of his visit with Gillian, he meets Jiro outside her room in SUPER SEKRIT.

Shit, you guys! Jiro's with Cerberus!

The next day, in the cafeteria, a young boy named Nick tries to make friends with Gillian.

Gillian gets so pissed off over the milk that she casts singularity, a biotic power that sucks in everything around it. Hemdel manages to taze Gillian and gets her to the hospital ward.

So anyway, when Gillian is found missing from the med ward, that's a Thing.

The whole academy's on high alert. Turns out, Jiro broke her out to give her her next dose of medicine, since the first one went so well. ... I apologize, but I really can't bring myself to draw someone doing something like that to a kid, you'll just have to live with text. Jiro inserts a needle into the back of her neck, dopes her, and then she begins to seize.

So anyway, Hemdel finds Jiro, and kicks his ass.

Then Kahlee finds Jiro and kicks his ass.

Children, this joke, it will never get old. I'm kind of super sad that Jiro only pops up (WHEE) in this one book and not in the other three two. Anyway, the Alliance takes Jiro in to custody, meaning he has to leave the plot prematurely.

Kind of like how he ejaculates.

TIM calls Paul up and is like, "race your ass over there NOW and get her out of there," so he does, playing the role of concerned dad. Hemdel figures out that Paul and Jiro are both in on Cerberus. Paul figures out that Hemdel knows, so he's trying to think of a way to get Gillian away from the Alliance and then maybe even away from Cerberus too. Kahlee gets the bright idea to convince Paul that she and Hemdel should come along to help him look after Gillian, and he agrees to it because I don't know why.

Paul, by the way, is addicted to red sand, a drug in the Mass Effect universe that makes you sort of biotic for a while. Paul tells everyone that they should go see his dealer, Pel, because maybe Pel would have some good ideas as to how to get away from Cerberus. So naturally Pel dopes them.

See, Pel's in league with these guys called collectors. Promise me you'll remember that. They're strange aliens with triangle shaped heads and four eyeballs that gather species and take them away, never to be seen again. Pel probably figures he can sell the four of them to the collectors for a nice profit.

But!

That ... that's supposed to be them all tied up, okay?

There's a sub plot I've been ignoring involving Pel, and two quarians, Golo and Lemm, because it is boring and I skipped over it. But Lem finds Kahlee, Gillian, Paul and Hemdel here, unties them, and rescues them. He actually convinces Kahlee, Gillian and Hemdel to go back to the quarian fleet with him, since Kahlee knows a little bit about AI technology. She'd serve as his gift to complete his pilgramidge. She agrees.

So Kahlee gets to go talk to the captain, Captain Mal.

REALLY! Who the hell are the other quarian fleet captains, Captain Kirk and Captain Janeway?

Captain Mal aims to misbehave has this theory, see. We all saw Sovereign the reaper, right? But what if there's, like, more reapers? Like, enough to fill three games worth of reapers? Kaylee Kahlee isn't much help, since she had no idea she was studying reaper stuff at Sidon at the time, but Mal's excited to talk to her all the same.

Meanwhile, Golo and Paul roll up to the fleet with the intention of taking Gillian back to Cerberus. Shit! No! They'll dope her more! Kahlee and Hemdel go trying to hunt out Gillian during the attack --

But it turns out Gillian can handle herself just fine.

After a long action sequence that I won't spoil for you, Hemdel and Gillian agree to stay on the flotilla where Cerberus can't reach Gillian, while Kahlee is to escort Paul to Alliance custody.

Oh, man, that's cool. We've actually never seen Kahlee complete a task on her own before. She usually has some guy's help. So, neat, she's gonna drive Paul to the Alliance on her lonesome. I bet she --

For fuck's sake, REALLY?

Paul escapes. Sadly. The last scene is Paul telling The Illusive Man to stay far away from Kahlee, because ... um ... honestly, I'm not even sure why old TIM should give half a fuck about Kahlee, but that's okay, I guess, because we've got two one more book to find out.

NEXT TIME: Actually, I'm out of town for next time, so. Filler! It'll be fun, though, I promise.

Homeworlds 2: Tali

I couldn't decide whether or not to do Homeworlds or Ascension next, but I've finished reading Homeworlds and I haven't yet finished Ascension, so that solves that right quick for us.

Homeworlds is a collection of comics about a handful of the playable characters in the Mass Effect universe, giving us a little bit of background on who's in our party. Each issue focuses on a different character. We're doing issue two first, because issue three contains Mass Effect 2 spoilers and I'm trying really hard to be chronological, issue one contains Mass Effect 3 spoilers and also is about a character that I hate with an undending passion and I'm trying to avoid them for as long as possible, and issue four? Comes out in a few days, so I haven't read it. Solves that nicely.

Issue two is about Tali and the events leading up to Mass Effect 1.

PLEASE tell me you remember all the shit about a quarian's pilgramidge. Remember? Back in this entry?

Wait, shit. I never actually said what one was, did I. Fuck. Okay. Real quick: Upon turning 18 years old, a quarian leaves its original ship in the Flotilla to go out into the wide wide galaxy and explore. They're expected to return to a new ship in the Flotilla with some sort of gift for the fleet -- food, supplies, information, anything useful. The captain then welcomes the young quarian back into the Flotilla with open arms.

A quarian who hasn't gone on their pilgramidge yet is Whatevertheir'nameis nar Shipname. Tali's full name is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya because she was born on the Rayya. Once Tali brings back her stuff to a new ship, she'll become Tali'Zorah vas Something, something being whatever her new ship is. Even if you haven't played the next two games, I'd bet cashmoneyrecords you can guess what her name ends up being.

Tali's dad is a big shot guy on the quarian Admirality Board, so she's expected to bring back something AWESUM. So she's cruisin' along the galaxy on a ship with her buddy Keenah'Breizh.

... okay, I have no fucking clue how to draw a dude quarian. Their helmets are a little more narrow. I tried, but it doesn't translate nicely into the ~delicate rendering~ of MSPaint. Y'all gonna hate my ass when we get to Kal'Reegar.

Anyway, their ship picks up some geth activity on a planet below. Hey, geth parts! That's the kind of shit that would REALLY impress a ship captain! Naturally, Tali jumps right on down to the planet.

Shit! We just got some file totally implicating some dude named Saren of some bad shit, and then we got shot at! Oh mean, there's a head scratcher. What's going on?

Once back on the ship, Tali's able to listen to the file and look at it a little closer, what with the absense of bullets whizzing past her helmet and all. Apparently this guy named Saren, he's totally a Spectre, right? He ordered a geth attack on Eden Prime, a human colony. But that's silly, what series of events would possibly cause Saren, a turian, to hate humans? Still, that's a Spectre doing bad shit. Tali figures that she and Keenah should go to the Citadel and let the council hear the file.

I love how at least one person out there thought I was being flip about Sarenistotally100%guilty.mp3. No, that is really honestly seriously Mass Effect canon.

That last picture, by the way? Is totally accurate. There's a sniper on an upper ledge of the balcony of the Citadel firing in broad daylight on Tali and Keenah and no one even blinks an eye. Everyone's just all, "Tut tut, it looks like bullets," and goes about finding their favorite shops on the Citadel.

The fuck, was C-Sec all out at Chora's Den right then? How in the hell does that get past anyone?

But it does, somehow. Tali and Keenah hoof it through the Citadel. Even though Keenah gets grazed by a bullet, Tali manages to drag him to a trash chute, which they dive through.

(Sorry kids, Keenah bites it. Quarian immune systems can't handle gun shot wounds.)

Do you remember me saying something about Tali being an incredibly capable character?

Yeah. She presses the incinerate button and lights the sniper on fucking fire. Get it, gurl.

Tali winds up in the care of Barla Von and Dr. Chloe Michel, whom you likely remember, and gets checked out.

I hope no one's holding their breath for me to MSPaint Kingdom Hearts, by the way, because that shit is not going to happen.

NEXT TIME: Sea salt ice cream. WAIT. NO. FUCK.

Revelation: Feelings And Shit

Mass Effect: Revelation is one of three novels that Bioware will admit exists. If I'm lying I'm flying. It takes place in 2164, juuuuuust barely after the First Contact War.

So, humans finished fighting with the turians, and we're all best space buds now. Humans at this point have ventured out into the galaxy, they're living on the Citadel, whole nine. Stuff looks really similar to the galactic community you see presented at the beginning of Mass Effect 1.

The novel follows several main characters around, the mainiest main character being Lieutenant David Anderson. You remember him, the bright orange guy who punched Udina in the face? But this is like twenty years prior, so he's not a captain yet.

The novel opens with him and several Alliance members that you never hear from again through the entire course of the series checking out this research facility where some giant explosion went off. I'm not going to bother to draw it. It reads just exactly like someone's playing a cover shooter, which is lolarious. Anyway, Anderson and pals discover that the base probably blew up because it was an inside job, dun dun dun.

But who could have done such a thing?!

Could it have been another main character, one who's currently sitting in a bar with something good and strong, listening to a news report about the attack on Sidon?

Shit! What if it is?

Meet Kahlee Sanders. That's pronounced Kay-lee, by the way. Doesn't it look like Kahl-lee? She's a brilliant scientist who works ... or maybe worked for the Alliance, and who hauled her ass out of the Sidon facility a day before it blew up, which doesn't look suspicious at all, no sir.

"BUT BEAN YOU MADE KAHLEE LOOK LIKE SHEPARD" You know, she does, a little bit, and even then, I'm pretty sure no one promised you good art to begin with.

The real reason Kahlee fled the facility was that she discovered they were illegally researching AIs. The people of the Mass Effect universe aren't really big on AI constructs during this time period. Remember, the quarians made AI constructs called geth, and that only cost them an entire planet, so.

But, I mean, she went AWOL, then the entire facility blew up, and that ain't a good look on anyone, so, uh, she's, kind of very much wanted by every Alliance member and also the Citadel council. She manages to slink out of the bar to go see her dad. Her dad is John Grissom, Alliance Hero, and will probably know what to do. Maybe. You know what? It's not like there's any other plan.

After that comes a fuck. ton. of scenes where Anderson goes to the Citadel and does Citadel shit. These chapters (that's fucking right I said chapters) were probably meant to take anyone who hadn't played the games and introduce them to the universe, but who the hell is going to pick up the novel without playing the game? Also? The shit that we see Anderson doing? Not that thrilling. It's not like the guy went wading in the Presidium fountains or visited the Consort or anything. There's a long sequence where he checks his email.

He checks his email.

THRILL! as he empties his spam folder!

There's also a discussion on how exactly data packets and traffic works on the Intergalactic level. That is some sexy shit right there. There's a brief part where he goes to Chora's Den -- remember that, that's the titty bar from Mass Effect 1! But Anderson's the only guy in the galaxy apparently that can't get a pair of bloobies in his face even when he goes to a titty bar. Damn, son, I just feel bad for you now.

After a hard day of being fucking boring, Ambassador Goyle meets with him. (Ambassador Goyle is the lady who was Ambassador before Udina.) She fills him in on what we already know, that Sidon went kaboom and Kahlee is AWOL, and sends Anderson out to find her before a council Spectre does, since a Spectre will have to turn her in to the council, and the Alliance wants their turn first.

Wait, shit. A Spectre. Do we know any of those? I mean, sure, Shepard's a Spectre, but she's 11 when all of this is going down (shut up I am not proud that I did that math). Fuck. Fuck. Quick, name another spectre that we know? Um? Um?

Wave hello to Saren! The book at this point starts to take on a little bit of duality in its plot -- one half is Anderson, and we'll discuss exactly what his plot line is in a bit I promise, and the other half is Saren killing shit.

No, seriously, every Saren scene can be neatly summed up as follows:

My favorite scene with Saren is when this one batarian visits ... a ... I'm trying to think of the nicest way to say it. A house of ill repute? Will that offend tumblr? I think I can use that one.

Oh, sorry, we haven't discussed batarians! They're brown, four-eyed aliens that are the literal whipping boys of the Mass Effect universe. If something unnecessarily awful is going to happen to an alien, it'll be a batarian. Wait until we get to Mass Effect 2 and tell me I'm wrong.

So, this batarian walks into a den filled with very professional women, which sounds like the start of a really great joke. He orders a human lady with the intent of beating the snot out of her instead of getting his swerve on. He's just sitting around, waiting in his room:

But, see, his, um, lady friend doesn't come in. Someone else does.

i am so sorry for drawing saren dressed as a girl but would you have been able to resist?

Also, I'm sorry, but it is hilarious, the idea of waiting for a girl and instead a big ass turian killing machine popping up.

So Saren beats the shit out of the batarian until he starts talking: some other batarian named Edan hired a krogan named Skarr to hunt out Kahlee and make her quite dead, quite dead indeed, so that Kahlee couldn't tell anyone about what shook down at Sidon. True to form, Saren kills the batarian and goes about his merry way.

Meanwhile!

You know, it's a story about Anderson and I don't even get to him until like the tenth drawing. It just don't feel right.

But anyway, Anderson shows up on the door step of John Grissom, Alliance Hero, looking for Kahlee. John Grissom, Alliance Hero is an old grizzled bastard, and won't help.

Uh. Okay. So. Anderson goes off to find the second star on the right and straight on until morning while John Grissom, Alliance Hero goes off to check on Kahlee. SURPRISE SHE'S IN THE HOUSE!

Ha, tell me you legit did not think that Anderson bought that whole story that John Grissom, Alliance Hero fed him.

Still, shit, we're fighting with a krogan, and it's not going well, even for John Grisson, Alliance Hero. Hrm. Is there anyone else who knows their way a good fight scene?

You know, the bastard gets results, what can I say.

Afterwards, when they flush Skarr out of the house, Saren turns to Kahlee and is like, dafuq bitch, why everyone on yo ass. Kahlee makes up a lie about the Sidon facility being used to create human biotics.

Saren buys it, but that's probably because he hasn't played Mass Effect 1 and 2 yet. There are actually human biotics running around during this time period. They're not super common, I guess, so maybe that's why he goes for it? But seriously, Kaidan, Shepard (if you made her a biotic), SpoilerCharacter1, SpoilerCharacter2 and SpoilerCharcter3 are all alive, even if they're little kids right now. I just named five damn charaters off the top of my head, you know there's more.

So there's a sequence where they make sandwiches, because this is a gripping action sci fi novel, and then as they're sitting there with said beer and sandwiches, Kahlee tells Anderson the actual factual truth: that she was working under this guy named Dr. Quan, who started acting weird. When she looked into it, turns out that Quan wanted to make AIs. She high tailed it out of Sidon, but she has no idea why the facility exploded.

Hey, remember when I told you that Anderson's side of the story was a different style than Saren's? See, there's this moment, right here in the novel --

Yeah, hey, we're doing this.

Apparently Anderson's a sucker for blonde hair and a cute smile. He spends the rest of the novel acting like a big squishy dope over Kahlee in just about the girliest damn love story I've ever seen. I mean, I had a shit ton of fun reading it, but I gotta say, it's really fluffy and fanficcy. I could easily see where you'd get turned off.

But then, you wouldn't get great scenes like the one I'm about to MSPaint. Normally I'd leave this out, but holy shit, guyse, it's pretty amazing:

So they decide that they've got to sneak Kahlee off planet, right? But they'll have to disguise her. So they hire the creepiest fuck in the galaxy.

hahhahahhaha the hate mail I'm going to get over this

Anyway, he's totes perving up on her, brushing her hand whenever he can, rubbing on her and shit, whole nine. For whatever reason, he makes her take "pigment pills" which turn her skin dark for a day. No idea why the hell this isn't gloriously offensive, but what do I know. Anyway, he also has to cut and dye her hair, and you better believe the goony fuck takes the hands on approach.

Hmm. If I were a bad person, I'd probably color her orange instead of brown in this next picture.

Hmm.

So anyway, this goes over as well as you'd expect.

I have no idea why Kahlee wasn't all like "hey maybe less creepin more cuttin," but there it is. God DAMN I was dying through this section.

Hey, people who've actually read the book: is it me or is there a boner joke in the next scene, the shuttle scene? I'll leave it to you all to find if you haven't read it.

There's this manufacturing plant on a planet called Camala that was providing the Sidon plant with supplies, both Saren and Team AndersonKahlee hope that if they can get there, they can get some clues. This is why Skarr sends some cronies to blast it sky high. While they're on Camala, Saren and Anderson meet up and discuss old times over a cup of coffee beat the shit out of each other. Saren wants Kahlee, and he's figured out that Anderson is probably harboring her, but Anderson has, at this point, figured out what happens when Saren interrogates people.

Saren thankfully didn't think to look in the damn rover like 30 yards away where Kahlee was actually just sitting out in the damn open. You know she wasn't ducking either, she was probably just fucking around on Spacebook on her omnitool. Anderson returns to the rover, but decides that he's not going to tell Kahlee that Saren wants her dead. See, he's thinking that he ~might~ kinda ~like like~ her, and he wouldn't want to take advantage of her and make her all scared and dependent on him and shit.

BETTER LOVE STORY THAN TWILIGHT

Saren wants to know why the plant blew up, so he visits a plant worker in the hospital who's near death.

The doctors gave him this stuff to inject in her IV bag so that she'll wake up out of her coma, but they warn him, she won't live long unless he gives her a second dose of medicine to put her back to sleep.

He manages to get to say that Skarr and Edan were behind the explosion before administering --

Hey, uh, Saren?

God damn, dude. I don't think Saren knows how to leave a room without leaving a dead body in the corner.

So then Kahlee's like, "Anderson, you dope, I know Saren wanted to kill me!" which leads to the novel's Big Teary Confession Scene. Were this Japanese, it might involve someone saying something about straight buzzin' robotussin, wanna get their mits in that oven, wanna get a lick of this lovin', but we're dealing with Canada here, so Kahlee just says that she's been lying this whole time, she knew who the traitor at Sidon was -- it was Dr. Quan himself. She thinks he's working with Edan to blow shit up to cover his tracks.

See, Quan was working with this artifact, and it was so old, it might have even been older than the Protheans! (Hey. Kids. REAPER. He had like a reaper leg or some shit.)

Anderson has a lot of damn feels over this -- he gets that Kahlee was mostly trying to stay alive, but damn it, he was trying to give her that black eyed peas, you know that boom boom pow.

Okay, follow close, because this next part gets fucking thick. They get this information to the Council, who decide to not be useless fucks for once and send Saren after Edan. Ambassador Goyle asks that they send Anderson to pal along, because maybe he could be the first human Spectre, please? Oh, and also, they need to get Kahlee off Camala, so they're going to smuggle her off with some Alliance marines. Saren, however, Sarens it right on up by realizing that Edan is searching for Kahlee, so he calls Edan up, tells him RIGHT WHERE THE DAMN CONVOY IS, and lets Edan kill all the marines and capture Kahlee. They take her back to Quan's compound.

So anyway, you can imagine how impressed Anderson gets.

Saren wants to go into Quan's compound and make as many dead bodies as possible, while Anderson's like, "Slow your roll, Kahlee's in there!" They bitch for a bit before striking a deal: Anderson gets a thirty minute head start in the compound to find Kahlee and get her out, and then Saren gets to come in and try to sell Mary Kay products no of COURSE he's going to kill everything.

You know, I was really surprised Saren didn't figure out that Anderson had a thing for Kahlee. Then again, I guess when the only emotion you can feel is "murder", things such as "affection" and "horny" really don't blip on your radar.

A summary of how the infiltration goes: EXPLODE.

No, seriously. Anderson uses up his 30 getting to Kahlee, but then Saren comes in and legit reenacts the ending to Cowboy Bebop.

You know how Anderson gets Kahlee out of her cell? One of Saren's explosions accidentally jars the the door open.

So, the end scene is Anderson and Kahlee on the presidium grass.

Saren, pissed off that he didn't get to kill someone, told the Council that Anderson is a big pants-wetting baby, thus fucking over his Spectre candidacy. But you knew that, we talked about that in ME1.

But hey, that other plot thread?

and then my kokoro brokoro

No, but seriously, what a blue balling finish to a sweet story. Kahlee says she can't because she's been reassigned to a top secret project and will be away.

...

Alliance, damnit, I'm calling you out on this one. Putting her on top secret shit didn't work out so hot for you THE LAST TIME, what makes you think THIS ONE will go any better?!

But still, so it ends, not with a bang, but a cock block. Thankfully we've got three other novels to see if they get together. Oh, sorry, two. There's still that one that Bioware won't admit is real.