Citadel: Chase That Clone!

Gurl you did not just threaten our fucking ship.

Something I've always wondered: why didn't Shepard just block Clone Shepard's call? Unless maybe all the jokes I've made over the years about Shepard not even being able to check her own email weren't really jokes.

All right, Vega, even though you're the worst squadmate, we'll all go chase after Clone Shepard.

This mission is the opposite of Arrival. Not only do you have everyone with you (Shepard divides them up into Team Mako and Team Hammerhead), but no one, at any point, shuts up for any reason at all.

I briefly considered making this entire entry twenty images of everyone slinging shit at each other, but I wasn't actually sure how enjoyable it would have been.

It's actually hard to catch all the audio on this level, as well as, you know, not die. I'm sure someone on YouTube has done it, I'll look into it.

Meanwhile, let's roll up to the archives proper.

omg you guys synthetic life is the best and totally worth saving

Make sure you look at the set as you walk around the level. You should be able to catch the other squadmates running around.

Ey, who didn't forget Sonic this time? This bitch.

Shit! We gotta go fast!

Shepard rolls up on Team Mako ... Hammerhead ... um, I get them mixed up, I think it's Hammerhead that needs rescuing. Shepard gets everyone out and safe.

... aww, fuck, what the hell are we supposed to --

Citadel: The Big Reveal

So, let's go to the place where the bad guys are and rough them up real bad!

Bioware knows how it goes down. Shep et all bomb the top of the building and dive on in.

A fight ensues, and it goes okay, until it doesn't. The Normandy crew finds themselves captured.

ey yo

There's your grammar lesson for today, if you were worried.

Shepard's day glow hair is one of my favorite MSPixel jokes and I don't get to do it enough.

Anyway, wave hello to Clone Shepard, kids.

There's one thing I've always wondered about Clone Shepard:

How much of a clone are we talking, here?

I am genuinely shocked that Bioware didn't include a scene where Clone Shepard came on to your love interest.

Unless I guess your love interest was Thane OHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIT

Citadel: The Fattest Crew I Know

Good morning. I've had the week from hell at work, so I'm going to enjoy making comedy for you today. That's how I'm going to look at it.

You know what? Bioware should take a moment to furiously masturbate self-congradulate here. They did make one of if not the best video game casts ever.

Even if you could name a better ensemble of characters in a video game, you'd have to acknowledge the Normandy crew in, say, the top ten. You give these kids a decade and they'll be Ness/Paula/Jeff/Poo style iconic.

I apologize once again for the fact that I'm a total dickwad. How come calling someone a fatass is the highest compliment in the Mass Effect universe?

You guys? You're all fat as fuck and I love you. <3

I was trying to remember the title of a specific game for that joke, but then I realized I was trying to remember the name of literally every video game that Japan has ever produced.

Hey, EDI, what was that analysis?

... oh fuck off, EDI. We almost got our ass kicked for that?!

Glyph rolls in and proves that EDI is a shitty excuse for an AI.