Friday, April 17, 2015

Citadel: The Fattest Crew I Know

Good morning. I've had the week from hell at work, so I'm going to enjoy making comedy for you today. That's how I'm going to look at it.

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You know what? Bioware should take a moment to furiously masturbate self-congradulate here. They did make one of if not the best video game casts ever.

Even if you could name a better ensemble of characters in a video game, you'd have to acknowledge the Normandy crew in, say, the top ten. You give these kids a decade and they'll be Ness/Paula/Jeff/Poo style iconic.

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I apologize once again for the fact that I'm a total dickwad. How come calling someone a fatass is the highest compliment in the Mass Effect universe?

You guys? You're all fat as fuck and I love you. <3

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I was trying to remember the title of a specific game for that joke, but then I realized I was trying to remember the name of literally every video game that Japan has ever produced.

Hey, EDI, what was that analysis?

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... oh fuck off, EDI. We almost got our ass kicked for that?!

Glyph rolls in and proves that EDI is a shitty excuse for an AI.

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  1. I... I only JUST realized why we got to take everyone on this mission. I feel... really stupid, actually.

  2. There's another I can't remember, but Suikoden and Persona are the JRPGs I can remember wherein your combat performance is literally linked to the number and strength of your relationships with the other playable characters.