London:

Husbando~ informed me that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is not in Detroit, it's in Cleveland. I'm bad at geography.

Also I don't sports.

I do, however, yell really well.

Speaking of Mass Effect, this shit is going on:

Have I mentioned this part is hard? Lord almighty this part is hard.

I gotta be honest, I've been incredibly sick with something that you don't want to hear much about. (I'm not even kidding. You don't want to hear what I have to collect and take into the doctor.) So mostly I've been pissing with this section and not getting very far because you don't even want me to finish this sentence.

I did figure out a trick though! So the destroyer sends out these huge red beams, right?

If you can line up the banshees real good --

The reaper just takes care of shit for you. You gotta scoot at the last second, though. Or else.

Also you've got to make sure your asshole squadmates aren't following you around.

You assholes survived as my team for three games, jfc.

Eventually, a hundred and seventy five deaths later,

So, let's do it! Let's shoot a reaper!

E3: Naked Men

Yo, so probably you figured this out from the title, but today's E3 round up is about as NSFW as MSPaint can get.

I could talk about the pirate game that Rare showed off, and my new best friend who apparently has to repeat everything he says ten times.

Or I could talk about the fact that Ubisoft is a bunch of gloriously crazy French bastards.

But there's another trailer that I think is more important to discuss.

goin there

The following is a true story about my E3 experience.

"HO HUM MPREG FANFIC AT E3 WHATEVER" -- Every Man Ever

Like, what did that concept meeting for that trailer even sound like?

Thankfully, we got to see the Legend of Zelda today! What a great day! Let's see how the game starts.

is this life even real

Like, where's the lie, Link woke up naked. He probably gave birth to his hat and we missed it.

And then a bunch of my asshole friends sent me messages about Overwatch, because again, nude men, nbd.

E3: Your KMom

I could write a witty ass introduction, but I know why you showed up today so let's just get to it.

.... nah, I'll remind you to follow my twitter, @MSPixelBlog for live tweets during E3, and remind you that you'll be getting MORE MSPixel after today's conferences from Microsoft, Sony and Ubisoft. I may do Nintendo if there's enough to make fun of.

NOW let's get to the reason you all showed up here.

You know that quote from Samara? "I am a ruined vessel of sorrow and regret, but I am free?" I think about that quote a lot. I've achieved the first half of it, for sure.

Bioware hasn't done shit for Andromeda. I've drawn more concept art for fucking Andromeda than they have. They've spent the past year with their hands in their pants, knee deep in hentai and ramen, and all they brought to E3 was "see you in the fall tee hee!"

I'm so mad. Steam is shooting out of my asshole right now in this very living moment in history. You can watch the damn trailer, but who the fuck cares, I drew the highlights for you.

See you on Twitter for the other conferences. Me and Paul have some hats to put on.