Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Citadel: 184

Today, let's continue to hang out with our squadmates.

Such as Samantha Traynor, who is busy playing space chess.

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It is worth watching the variant of this where Shep and Traynor are dating, because Shepard gets a pretty good burn in.

Oh, and Javik catches up with us.

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All right, let's go see what trouble Javik has gotten himself into.

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Oh dear.

So, Javik and Shepard go shoot a scene where they talk to the, err, "citadel council."

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I have somehow gone years and never gotten to Blasto. I'm not sure how!

Blasto, the first hanar spectre, started as a joke on the Bioware Social Network. Bioware stuck some Blasto movie ads in Mass Effect 2, and ... this in Mass Effect 3.

Blasto is completely stupid and horny. In other words, Blasto is total and complete 100% distilled Bioware. Love him. Roll in him.

They keep implying that Blasto movies are for kids, so I thought they were like a Pixar sort of thing? But I guess not.

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One last thing I love love love about the Blasto movie:

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Vega wants to come over to our apartment.

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God damn it, Vega, you really are the worst char --

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Are you shitting? Did a character just request that something unhorny happen?


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Today's MSPixel Kids Activity Corner: notice how carefully this scene edited so that Bioware didn't have to animate Vega's shirt coming on and off.

Anyway, Vega begins to leave:

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I'll tell you a story. I have a condition that I manage by basically training like a triathlete. Like, I'm bad at it, but I work hard, okay?

As part of it, I had to learn to do pull ups. Well, I didn't have to, but it couldn't really hurt. So I bought a pull up bar and did what everyone does when they first get a pull up bar.

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But, after a long while and many military presses, guess what I can do!

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Around the time I figured out how to do a pull up, James Vega's Pull Up Challenge came around. I was like, yas.

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Shepard can beat James Vega's pull up record via renegade and paragon interrupts. Seriously, you press the triggers on the controller 184 times.

It might take longer, but it is easier than a real pull up.

... for the record, maybe I can do five on a good day. I think ten would kill me. 184 is out of the question. I think maybe someone at Bioware doesn't know how to do a pull up. Which I could believe, given the way they animated Shepard doing them.

I will say that they way Shepard holds herself afterwards is exactly the way you'd look after ten 184 pull ups.

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