Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Brought To You By The Letter P

Here, let me catch you up on the plot real quick: The Illusive Man tried to get Shepard killed and Harbinger is a creeper in a fedora.

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Shepard is much less than paragon about the whole thing.

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No, really, Brother Tim sent Shepard on a probably-suicide run because he decided it was easier than encrypting a message to Shepard. The collectors are fucking bugs, they can't interpret messages like that. Hell, he probably could have written it in Futurama alien code or galifreyan or lemon juice or even lip synced it to Shepard, but no, the easier thing was to just march her on to the ship and hoped.

I guess he figures he can just bring her back infinite amount of times?

Cerberus has more resources than brains.

And all he's got for Shepard is a 'lolwhatevs'. She's not happy.

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I've never quite figured out why telling Brother Tim to fuck off is the renegade path.

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This is what I do with my time, I draw holograms peeing.

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(I keep thinking the cerberus operatives aboard the derelict reaper is a comic book, because it sure sounds like one, but apparently it isn't. I'm really surprised by that.)

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So anyway, the next scene in the conference room with Miranda, Jacob and Mordin. I will live a million years and not know why Mordin is in this scene. If he's in there, shouldn't the rest of the crew be as well? What happens if you don't recruit Mordin? You can get this far without Mordin, but I bet you knew that.

The conference room has a giant ass table. I tried to draw it.

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Somewhere in the background, Carl Sagan is sobbing quietly.

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Somewhere in the background, Carl Sagan is wailing loudly while rending his garments.

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Oh come on, you didn't for a second think that the plot would actually almost involve a mass effect, did you? This game may as well be called Horse Colon Spelunking Adventure, because there's exactly as many horse anuses as there are mass effects.

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The game gives you a choice here. You can, of course, just dive right toward the end of the game, but there's more to do and you'll fuck yourself over grandly for Mass Effect 3. This is MSPixel, I'm trying to show off the damn game some, we need to finish some stuff first.

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Shepard keeps saying the phrase "build our team", which is not a hint at all as to the ending.

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