Since this is a Bioware game, you have a hub of sorts (the Normandy, in this case), and all your characters live there. You can talk to your characters, and as you go through dialogue options with them, various things happen and change depending on what you pick.
We have all the characters that Mass Effect 1 will allow us to pick up: Kaidan, Ashley, Garrus, Wrex, Tali, Liara. Well, and Shepard too. Garrus, Wrex and Tali all give you sidequests, so we'll go ahead and give them their own posts. Today, let us discuss Kaidan, Ashley and Liara.
Who, coincidentally, are our three romance options.
Told you it was a Bioware game.
I started this game up all like, "HELL YEAH, GONNA GET STRAIGHT INTO ASHLEY'S PANTS!" I'm a straight lady in real life, so I figured it would be fun to pretend to be something I wasn't. Then I found out that Lady Shepards can't tap that. Dude Shepards can't go for Kaidan, either ... until ME3. Yeah, I know. It's effed up. Liara will, however, be with any kind of Shepard.
Liara mostly tells you little inconsequential stories through her conversation tree. Sadly. It's mostly stuff she learned while getting her Masters in Protheanism. She does mention that she doesn't know who her father is, but she knows it's another asari. (Asari on asari relationships are discouraged in asari culture, because of a genetic mutation that ... well, we'll wait until Mass Effect 2 for that one. But Liara, as a pureblood, is looked down upon by other asari.)
So, if you get through enough of her dialogue, this horse shit goes down.
Really. This is the game's way of telling you that Liara's warm for your form: by letting you know that she's a Spacebook stalker. Well, hey, thanks for the warning, game.
I really think Liara's still the best romance option for a dude Shepard. She's not a bad one for a lady Shep, you can sure do worse (and we're gonna later in this post), but there's a better one coming in the next game.
Let's talk about Ashley!
The first thing people learn about Ashley is that she's a tremendous space racist. Her dad fought against aliens in some war, was forced to surrender, and now the whole Alliance looks on the whole family like they're horse shit. So it's not really right, but there's a reason.
Shepard also learns about Ashley's ten million or so sisters, and learns about them through story and through overhearing Ashley's Skype calls.
Remember what I said about Mass Effect being horny? It's ramping up, kids.
You know, a neat thing about Ashley: she's a theist. The game never specifically says what sort, but it implies it's a Judeo-Christian sort of religion that she follows. (Most people assume she's a Christian, but there's no real evidence against her being Muslim or Jewish.) The game even gives you the opportunity to let Shepard say she's a theist, too, if you want. You don't have to, of course, but it's there. That's really rare in games. I thought it was cool. Of course, I think this is one of those things that fuels the Internet hate machine, because the Internet gets mad any time you say anything about anyone's god, but what do you do.
Ashley starts off trying to get with guy Shepards by quoting poetry at them. Oh captain my captain. Yeeeah, Ashley and I are space BFFs, but if you're looking for some mad tits, just go chat up Liara.
Now, let us get to the heart of why the hell I hate Kaidan so much.
Every time I talk to Kaidan, every damn time, this happens:
There's seriously not much more to the guy than "giant fauxhawked creeper." Honestly, the game almost feels like it's trying to manipulate you as hard as it fucking can into bedding the guy, and it just gets uncomfortable. If you get deep enough into his convo tree, you might get stories about how he's ~so tortured~ because he gets biotic headaches, or he's ~so tortured~ because he killed a turian in summer camp. Legit, he's going to start sparkling and watching me in my sleep like any second. I guess I'm supposed to be like, "Oh, Kaidan, please let me be your space bridu so that I can heal you with the power of my vaginal walls?" but no.
In short, it weirds me out that there's just, like, a warm dick with a mohawk that Shep's supposed to jump on because she's got quivering lady parts. No thanks. Shepard's still got hands, she'll be fine.
Okay, so, here's a mechanic that not a lot of people actually know about. Remember paragon and renegade? Each one of your crew mates fall onto the paragon/renegade spectrum somewhere. I'm pretty sure Liara's always the most paragon, and Wrex is always the most renegade.
Ashley, Kaidan and Garrus can vary as to where they fall on the scale, depending on where you go in their conversation tree. For example! You can actually talk Ashley out of her space racism, thus sliding her up along the paragon scale. You can actually go the opposite way and turn Kaidan into a huge space racist as well, but ye gods don't ever remind the Kaidan fangirls of that.
It's not that significant, just beyond some trivia, except for whenever Shepard has to make a moral choice. The squad mates you bring along will be the angel and devil on your shoulder, giving you paragon/renegade advice. This changes depending on who's there: if you've got Liara and Garrus, Garrus is always the more renegade of the two, but if you bring Garrus and Wrex, Garrus suddenly becomes the paragon squadmate. Isn't that cray? There you go, the more you know.
We go to Ferros, next time, kids. It's a planet full of plants that have strange effects on people. 4:20 track reapers every day!
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