Friday, February 19, 2016

Earth: Major Coats

You know the little tooltip in the middle of the screen in Mass Effect 3? The one that tells you where to go?

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Ever notice how stupidly unhelpful it is?

Luckily, it's just one of those clear the area things, all you have to do is --

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Wait, shit, I still have the cain.

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Actual conversation in our house. I actually died twice trying to replay this section for MSPixel because the top button is X, goddamnit. Also all buttons are purple.

Anyway, this shit is happening:

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Finally, the shuttle comes.

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So, uh, welcome, Major Coats ... ?

I cannot explain Major Coats. God, I wish I could. I tried. I kept waiting for him to pop up in a comic or something, but naw, with Major Coats, what you see is what you get.

Major Coats is Anderson's best friend who shows up literally on 11:30 PM of the entire fucking trilogy. Here is what I know about him: his name is Major Coats. Here is the function he serves in the story: he is Major Coats.

... Major Coats is the hero of Mass Effect Andromeda.

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At least 50% of Anderson's lines from here forward are "I was born in London" or some sort of glowing praise for Major Coats.

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... is the actual line from the game, but again, Spacer. It probably should be more like,

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Next time: MAJOR COATS

2 comments:

  1. Well you could argue Earth is the home of Shepard's ancestors (and the whole species), so maybe that would count?

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  2. Actually Major Coats was featured in the first trailer for Mass Effect 3. He narrated it and was a sniper holed up in Big Ben. Other than that though, that dude is just an uppity newcomer who talks too much.

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