The Absolute Extent of My Artistic Abilities

About ... gee, fifteen years ago? Yes, fifteen or so years in gaming history, if you wanted an incredible cut scene, you went to Square Enix. They were then known as Square. As a video game historian's aside, back then they were called fmv, not cut scenes. It stood for for full motion video, because the game was playing a compressed video instead of running anything in engine. The original Playstation didn't have the juice to render something so impressive as Squall and Rinoa's first dance in real time.

Point being, Bioware can kindly use the mad huge processing power of the XBox 360 (or PS4 if you prefer, or PC if you're gonna be that nerd) to bring us a big ass Final Fantasy style cut scene. Or, at least that's what I think of every time I see this.

This is one of the most impressive cut scenes in the game, I think, so it's only fitting that I shit it down my leg. You're at least getting an extra long MSPixel today, so.

Here we go, coming up on Earth! I can't draw space ships, which is exactly why I'm drawing every scene from a sci fi shooter.

I'm reasonably sure Joker always talks about the turians, the asari and the Alliance. If you solved Rannoch to the satisfaction of all parties, you get a little bit extra:

This is the plot of Battlestar Galactica: the humans are at war with a race of robots known as Cylons. The Cylons manage to blow the humans out of the fucking sky, so the humans group together in a ship fleet and attempt to take back their homeworld. The main character is Commander Adama.

Look, I make jokes about this being low budget Star Trek, but --

Yo Joker, who else is ready?

Well then, come the fuck on!

... you know the Normandy doesn't fire an entire shot during that whole fucking sequence? Way to be a team player, assholes.

Next time: