Wednesday, February 17, 2016

To Earth!

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Are you ready to go to Earth for the second time in the Mass Effect series?

This was kind of a big deal. I guess everyone assumed the final battle would be in space somewhere. I would have guessed the terminus systems, that's where all the action in ME2 was.

Of course, I would have thought the game Mass Effect had mass effects in it, so maybe don't listen to me ever.

On the shuttle:

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... well?

That was one of the criticisms of Mass Effect that Bioware tried to address in 3: you pick a background for Shepard that she helpfully forgets for the rest of the game. I think they did a generally good job of patching it up, right until they forgot that Spacer Shepard and Colonist Shepard probably give no fucks about Earth.

Anyway, there's these things on the ground called hades canons.

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They look like reapers, because reapers aren't real creative.

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Also they blow the hell out of Alliance ships, which is probably why we need to blow them up.

Wait a second, that shuttle that just got toasted --

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There's a glitch here. If you play as the correct Shepard, it doesn't activate, so this is what's supposed to actually happen:

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However, if you're playing as man Shepard, you get this:

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Which is supposed to play if you did the did with Steve, but in general, it just plays because guy Shep cares.

As we go along, we find a cain, which isn't glitched at all.

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Here's what I don't like about the cain. One, it's a gun. Two,

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It takes a second to work. I always think I screwed up!

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But as it turns out, I didn't, so we can continue through London.


  1. After destroying the Hades Cannon on one of my playthroughs, I was dicking around on the battlefield, waiting for the "Survive" command to appear. I wandered all the way over to the edge, when reapers began to spawn. A banshee spawned directly in front of me. Not kind of in front of me. I was standing in the spawn spot. Her face literally filled my entire screen. One second, I was looking at a desolated Earth. The next second, a demented face was all I could see. I screamed and threw my controller. Needless to say, she insta-killed that day...

    1. *removes hat and gives you a moment of silence*