I'm BACK!

If you're following me on Twitter (and you should be!), you know that I spent the last two weeks with my computer bricked. It's back! It's back! I can post!

The nitty gritties are a separate story. What say we wake up from this fugue state and --

... oh hell, I didn't mean literally. This is still a Mass Effect blog, right?

Hrm, it's that little kid we saw in Vancouver. Or Toronto? I'm so good at geography it hurts. Shepard chases after him.

As she does, she hears the voices of a bunch of dead characters.

... Garrus, honey, you creepin?

Jesus Christ this wake up scene is so weird. The other characters, Shepard wakes up in bed under the covers next to said character, as if they had fucked and then fallen asleep next to each other. In the Garrus scene, Shepard wakes up on top of the comforter in her underwear (which I spared you from, you're welcome,) and there's Garrus, just peepin away.

If I only knew the Garrus side of things I wouldn't actually know that this is the sex scene. You don't see them touch! Which might be okay, actually.

Samantha Traynor has the best wakeup scene.

Samantha Traynor 11/10 Best Space Lesbian of the Year All Years.

Yo, speaking of space lesbians, let's go stare at the penis crucible.

Gameplay wise, this means that EDI will be with us for Cronos Station, no matter what.

Speaking of, let's drive up to Cronos Station.

You know, or A THOUSAND OTHER THINGS THAT PROBABLY SHEPARD SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF?!

Joker is being 600% reasonable here, don't tell me he's not. Taking EDI into a Cerberus base is pretty fucking stupid.

Luckily, Shepard has a well reasoned response.

I'm starting to think Mass Effect 2 had the better writing, you guys.