Friday, October 9, 2015

The Name Of The Boat

Please allow Shepard to accurately summarize my feelings toward this section of Mass Effect 3:

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Yo so the first time I saw this scene, I was like,

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Because this shit can happen:

Because sex boat.

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But good news, if you're doing the do with either of them, they thankfully just reminisce instead.

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So hey, guess what activates if we go into Shepard's cabin!

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I was wondering if I could make that shot work. I, uh, couldn't.

Granted, I can't make any shot work.

The nice thing about the Garrus sex scene is that Bioware didn't animate them having sex. The others ... sorry, those are two computer generated bodies of polygons rolling around. (Can you tell I don't play Bioware games for the love stories?)

Last time I went through and showed you what we didn't win, but here's the thing: all of these scenes are, uh, real damn similar. I love Mass Effect 3, but it needed more dev time. The sex scenes are one area where you can tell Bioware was rushed.

Still, here's our not-Garrus sex pals:

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Liara plays with Shepard's helmet a bit.

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Kaidan drinks. I frequently forget about Kaidan.

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Traynor's is the best, but we'll have to revisit it. You'll see why.

Really, I could start subbing anyone in.

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Wanna get weird?

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Let's go.

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2 comments:

  1. OK so the scene between Garrus and Tali almost broke me. Sexy times with the Warden finished the job.

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  2. Some people's games apparently glitched and had Garrus and Tali hooking up even when they did romance one of them. Can you imagine the heartbreak? (Though I do think they're cute together whenever I romance someone else.)

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