I am terrible, if there is a spoiler on the Internet, I read it. I tried hard to resist when Mass Effect 3 was coming out, but I am me, and so, I found one.
Specifically, on Youtube. I ran with my iPad into the living room, eager to share with Husbando~.
But something came over me.
I fell to the floor, laughing. I couldn't get up. I couldn't breathe. Husbando~ nearly called the paramedics, that's how hard my fit was. But, finally, I was able to screech one word, one single solitary word that let him know what was going on.
The following is the scene I found on YouTube.
"Bean, there is no way that this goes where I think it's going." This goes where you think it's going.
You know this isn't even the horniest scene in the game?
You also know that you can see her shower? I'm not drawing it, enjoy your MSpainted censorship.
... which is one way to resolve the shower scene. What's the other way? Hey, let's dig up that YouTube video I found so long ago:
That really really truly happens. Also yes, Shepard joins in in her clothes. Even her dress blues, if that's what she's wearing.
I'm going to avoid the shower now, because banging Traynor in the shower locks in her romance, and that significantly reduces the number of alien sex jokes I get to make. If you blow her off, you get a scene where Traynor and Shepard play Space iPad Holo Chess instead.
Shepard can't play chess, it makes my heart soar.
Also, I am not even lying in the slightest, the scene really truly ends this way:
After the Citadel coup, certain squadmates will have specific scenes pop up where you can go chillax with them. That was Traynor's. I had a few more pop up, so we'll look at them today.
... I seem to remember them all coming up at once, but on this playthrough, I only got three to come up. I know Garrus, Ashley and Liara at the minimum have ones that I haven't unlocked somehow? Advice is welcome.
But hey, Diaba Abers needs to see us!
Look, I don't know, you can fuck Diaba at this point. Does she even know how to have sex? I imagine it looks a lot like this.
I think Diaba Abers stays clear of the shower, though. Hey, someone else is calling.
Bwahahaha, you all wish.
Nah, but frealsies.
You know? Paragon Lost came out way after Mass Effect 3, I'm surprised they reference the plot of it so much.
and then i grind my teeths
Next time:
I am pretty sure I am straight (I mean, my sexy time dreams always involve men, so that's telling, right?) but if Shepard ever told me to do ANYTHING in that voice, I would do it, THEN think about it. Although, I am not so sure about the thinking about it part.
ReplyDeleteI mean, the voice she uses on her way to the shower.
DeleteOh man, the first time I did this scene I automatically paragon'd my way through the conversation and accidentally banged Samantha in the shower. Had to reload a save so that Garrus wouldn't feel bad.
ReplyDeleteIt's a shame that the shower scene is so bad, because the other parts of the romance seem really cute,