I can't believe no one called me out on leaving the Krogan bong uncracked.
(Also: today's update brought to you buy Imgur because Photobucket was being a little bitch.)
Of course, it would make sense to crack open Dr. Okeer's project and see what we've got. We could have a pretty powerful squadmate in there! Brother Tim DID want us to build our team!
... but all the Cerberus folk, they say alien technology? No bueno.
I said Cerberus didn't like it.
Hey, EDI, make yourself useful:
Whatevs, let's crack this bitch.
Meet Grunt! He's our very own baby krogan! Shepard hatched him, so obviously she's his mom.
Of course, thanks to Dr. Okeer's tinkering, he's fully grown, but we'll just count that as him saving us the trouble of having to buy krogan onesies.
Grunt is another example of the fact that Bioware has the best art team on the damn planet. This is Wrex, from last game. Look at the picture, not just the MSPixel rendering. I'm pretty sure he's somewhere between six and eight hundred years old. The Bioware art team very smartly was able to take the design of an old Krogan and very perfectly make a very cute widdwe baby krogan.
Grunt also offers up this hilarious line:
Anyway, good on us, we've got Grunt now.
Man, I'll tell you, though, when I had Shepard check her email, and I found a letter from Anderson saying that we had to go to the council chambers to 'explain ourselves?' My tail went inbetween my legs big time.
Let us, then, to the Citadel, and let us then make a beeline for --
The hell?
This is Kasumi Goto, popping up on a Citadel advertisement. Her recruitment mission is like 15 whole seconds: tell her "silence is golden," she says something about Shepard helping her find something she lost, and then she moves aboard the Normandy. Easy. I wish I could dedicate more panels to it, but seriously, that's about it. Anyway, at least we have Kasumi AND Grunt now.
NOW to the council chambers.
Oh! Hell! Anderson! Good to see you man, what's up!
Now that I've played the whole series, been through the books, and a few of the comic books, this scene actually carries some weight for me. But I swear to hell, I'll never forget the first time I came across it. Our living room:
(Not even kidding, this was the first moment I ever even thought about him being black. This is because I am literally very stupid.)
I ... if I had to guess, Bioware decided that they'd have several people of many different races in their game. That's good. They also maybe decided that they'd have these people of color all look different. That's good too, that's very good. So I guess they got Jacob, and they were like, "We'll make him a dark skinned black guy," and they got to Udina, and they were all, "We'll make him a light skinned black guy," and they got to Anderson, and then they just fucking ran out of brown crayons or something, I don't even know. I'm not entirely sure where the logical leap of "We'll make this black guy BRIGHT FUCKING FLORIDA ORANGE" even happens.
Seriously, it's like the one 'ka-thunk' moment the art department has.
He's less orange in ME2, so I'll switch from dark orange to regular orange for now. Thanks, MSPaint! Let's move on:
Now it's the plot's turn to shit itself. I'm not making this next bit up, it's a very famous line from in the game:
... really.
No, see, the council decided that they just don't believe in reapers. Yes, I know we all saw Sovereign last game, yes I know he attacked the Citadel, yes I know the council was fucking there. The in-game explanation is that the council has decided that the geth did it, and Saren led them, and Sovereign is off in Valhalla with Santa Claus and Super Man.
Yes, I know this is dumb as hell. In theory they're denying it because they're anti-human, but ... I mean, come the fuck on.
And poor Anderson is all, "Well, I believe you," and Shepard's like, "Well duh, because IT'S THE FUCKING TRUTH WHAT THE HELL!?"
So the rest of the meeting goes great, let me sum it up pictorially:
The council agrees to reinstate Shepard as a spectre so long as she keeps to the Terminus systems, and Shepard takes it, because why wouldn't you? You'd have to be reaper-denying dumb to turn that down.
This is already long, so I'm going to have to skip over the scene where Udina gets scared to death by Zombie Shepard and Anderson bitches him out, and skip to the end conversation with Anderson and Shepard.
NEXT TIME: We'll deal with less bosh'tets. Wait, what?
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