Well, Shirt.

This is actually the first time Mass Effect nerds got to see Kahlee Sanders! Before this, all we had was a silhouette on the Ascension book. So anyway, please enjoy my shitty oversimplification of her.

That's mostly how the Grissom Academy mission works, Kahlee says to go do something and you make it so.

Wave hello to Jack's new character design! It's so cool how I can't draw it.

Bioware said that they were going to soften Jack a bit, because you "can't stay punk rock forever," or something. So they wrapped her titties in bandages and gave her a mohawk. Sure, Bioware, that's totally the same thing as a cardigan and Christmas cards with white babies all over them.

I suspect Bioware realized it was kind of very extremely inappropriate to have Jack walking around without a shirt, and used the punk rock thing as a convenient excuse.

horniest fucking game

Jack's a teacher at Grissom now! She's in charge of kids! This is a spectacular idea. Bioware made them all teenagers so they didn't have to model actual children.

... some of you remember that I work with actual children, though. Let me tell you one time: Grissom Academy's depiction of children is not even close to accurate. Holy hell. The kids, like, speak in complete sentences and don't get body fluids on things, it's all messed up.

Allow me.

I love how people who don't have/work with kids are like, "Wow, Bean, I'm not sure that's right," and people who do have/work with kids are just nodding along in agreement.

(That marshmallow line was actually said to me by a real living child. They felt it important that I know, I guess.)

All right, fine, let's go beat on some bad dudes.