You'd say the same thing, don't even lie.
Philosophical discussions with century old death machine bugs are nice, but there's a tac nuke to worry about, so Shep and Shadow team have to get moving. They hustle out to the bomb site, which is weirdly in the middle of a shallow pool of water? I don't know, I don't usually make tac nukes. Anyway, Ashley set us up the bomb.
There is not a moment of that I made up. The bomb looks like a lady bug, and Saren really does roll in on a magic space skateboard.
The first thing Shepard does is do that standard action hero thing where she empties a clip and a half into Saren with no results whatsoever. He deflects them using his biotics.
shepard honey just quit fucking shooting you might need those bullets one day
So, anyway, Shepard takes cover, and Saren does that standard action bad guy thing where he lays out his entire plan before her. See, the reapers are all going to fuck us in the ass, right? No, see, but it's cool, because Saren's going to help. He's useful. So that means they won't reap him. Right? Right guyse?
Failproof.
I went there! Bought the shirt!
So Saren's like, "Nuh uh, I asked Soveregin, and he said yes, and then he bought me ice cream, and we're totally boyfriend and reaperfriend right now it's true I doodled his name on my notebook," and Shepard's like, "You are too dumb to even argue with, get out of my face," and then the tac nuke's alarm goes off, and that's sort of a thing.
No, seriously, instead of running like hell, Saren decides to pick Shepard up and ... I don't know, play with her? Whatevs, Shep has a plan.
Saren becomes the first in a long list of bitches that Shep cold clocks in the face.
Shepard picks up Ashley for reasons I don't understand, and they high tail it out of there. I feel bad that I left Liara out of the cast photo I did back with Kirrahe, let's see if I can get everyone this time.
Shepard, Ashley, Liara, Garrus, Tali, Wrex, Kirrahe, Kaidan ... yup! That's all of them! Let's go!
So, anyway, you get a touching scene of Shepard looking out the window of the Normandy while boom goes the dynamite.
Afterwards, Liara gets awful interested in Shepard's head again. Did that Prothean beacon Shepard encountered on Virmire add anything to the vision Shepard had?
(Err, by the way, the vision? It's seriously not that important. They'll forget about it in the next two games. The images don't mean much -- Sovereign gave you more relevant information anyway. You can watch it here if you give two shits.)
But, Liara does love a good head fucking.
Liara is like, ooo, oh my, I still can't tell shit from it, and I'm like, well hell, I could have gotten you that far. But then Liara's all, ooo! Ilos! Let's go to Ilos, Saren's there!
I don't ... I guess red blurs mean Ilos.
Right after, Udina calls the Normandy, and he's all, "Good news! Come back to the Citadel! The Council's going to give you some reinforcements!"
NEXT TIME: To the Citadel! For reinforcements! Thanks, Udina!
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