The first one is Luna Base. Most people did this one just because you get to visit the moon, which is kind of hot shit. Of course, when you're working in a multiplanet universe such as Mass Effect, the question comes up: whose moon? Bira? Lethe? Nanus? Menae? Oltan? I am so proud that I had to look those up, you guys. I don't earn my super nerd badge today. Point being, since there's now other moons to worry about, Earth's moon is now called Luna in-game.
Hackett calls Shep up and is like, hey, there's a rouge VI shooting out all kinds of Alliance stuff, can you go shut it down since you're the main character and all? So off to Luna we go.
Oh, and hey -- if you're playing along at home, don't make the mistake I made when I first did this. Don't bring biotic characters, they can't hurt the enemies you find here. My Shep (as a vanguard) and Liara were hurting bad, while Garrus was working overtime to keep our asses alive. Bring Tali and Garrus. Tali eats the enemies here for lunch.
...
FINE, I guess you could bring Kaidan too. Maybe. If he promises to keep it in his pants.
seriously don't be a shit just bring tali and garrus
The first thing you should do is go visit the downed satellite. It's listed as "debris" on the map.
Also, you'll notice that all the characters have helmets for low oxygen situations, except Tali, who always wears a helmet anyway so whatevs. Sometimes during the Luna Base mission Shepard takes hers off, sometimes she doesn't. I couldn't figure out what the magic trigger was.
Anyway, let's continue on --
IN THE MAKO!
Until the crew get to three structures that compromise Luna Base.
Everyone goes in one of the structures, busts through, and encounters something called a "VI Conduit," whatever the fuck that is. Sadly, it's not the same one Saren's hunting. But, you're supposed to shoot them out.
The VI gets pissed and starts filling the room with toxic gas.
Does the VI really talk, or am I being some kind of shit to prove a point that's only obvious if you've played ME2 and 3? You decide!
Anyway, the shore party exits the building, hacking up lungs or whatever the hell turians and quarians use to breathe, and then goes into the next building.
But this time the VI's got Shep's number, man. It starts putting up barriers to protect it's conduits.
I just realized how much it looks like Shepard's fighting against a geometry book.
Well then. Shepard and the Shepettes go into the third area of Luna Base and try to destroy the last conduits, but not before the VI sends a bunch of droids after them!
S'cool, we brought Tali.
After that's done, the VI sends a message to Shepard's helmet, and then you get to pick a class specialization, because this is not Neverwinter Nights, you guys, not at all. Mass Effect 1 isn't really an RPG much at all, but it did make out with one at Bible Camp, and it shows sometimes.
Me, I always go Nemesis, because it ups your blue shit.
Damn, that was inconsequential and pointless! Next time: balls. Really.
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