Monday, January 30, 2017

Husbando Vs. RPGs Week!

I told you I had surprises!

Children, I want a breather between the Mass Effect trilogy and my next trick. What's my next trick? We'll talk later.

This week, I'm giving you a series of cartoons, based on what I'm only assuming your favorite MSPixel character, Husbando~'s cat Husbando~! Let's talk about Husbando~ for a moment. Husbando~ loves video games, but he's really only into two kinds:

  • Enormo AAA broshooters, typically set in space if he has his way. Think Halo.
  • Games for five year old children. Think Kirby.

Husbando~ will not touch RPGs. He doesn't like to be in the same room as an RPG. If he even thinks he sees spiky hair he's storming out of the room and fussing.

You've probably picked this up because I won't shut up about Chrono Trigger, but I'm exactly the opposite. I'm so here for Japanese RPGs, children, holy shit.

"Okay, then, Bean, but how did you come to Mass Effect? Why isn't this a Dragon Age blog?" What a good looking question. Honestly, Dragon Age looks more like my shit. But one, I've played Dragon Age, and Dragon Age is hot garbage. And two, this happened instead.

The year is ... probably 2011 or so, before MSPixel. I'd like you all to meet a very good and very old friend of mine, supernonamegirl. I'll use her Internet name just in case she doesn't want her real name on my shitty art blog.

Well, sure! With such a convincing argument, I set out to GameStop to buy it used because I wasn't sure if I'd like it well enough to pay full price. Really. What's weird is that I specifically remember that trip. I don't know how often you specifically remember buying a video game.

It looked good enough, but it looked like space. Husbando~ loves anything in space, maybe even more than video games. So I brought him Mass Effect.

Mini rant time: why in the hell do people classify Mass Effect as an RPG? It's a broshooter. It's 120% a broshooter. I don't care if it has stats. Do you understand that shooters have had stats ever since there were shooters? Doom had stats! Just because they're hidden doesn't mean they're not there. "Make choices" or "develop your character" aren't good enough for me either. Bioshock tried to claim it's an RPG and now y'all are all squirreled around and backwards wondering if Rocket League is an RPG, jfc.

Look, we were all naive once.

And so,

Look, say whatever you need to about Supernonamegirl, she's always right.


  1. Since you've got some time to kill before Andromeda, can you please do an entry about why you hate Dragon Age so much? I've always found that confusing.

    You like RPG's, including previous Bioware RPG's such as Jade Empire (and possibly KOTOR and/or Baldur's Gate?). What's so different about Dragon Age? Was it because you played it on a console and the interface was shit? Because that would explain a lot.

    1. You know, the console thing might be my major problem with it. I was pressing buttons, and things were dying, and I could never come up with the correlation between the two.

  2. You actually might want to give DA 2 a shot at some point. It was designed for consoles, and the game play is generally a lot more straightforward that DA 1. Also, it'd be good MSPixel fodder for a whole host of plot reasons that I won't go into. The fact that one of the characters doesn't wear pants, for example...