So he was a ton of fun when Pokemon Go came out.
A day or two later,
As it turns out, Husbando~ works on a spawn point. He would catch gobs of pokemon at work, they were practically climbing up on his desk. Then he'd text me and ask what the hell it was he just caught.
Children, I want a breather between the Mass Effect trilogy and my next trick. What's my next trick? We'll talk later.
This week, I'm giving you a series of cartoons, based on what I'm only assuming your favorite MSPixel character, Husbando~'s cat Husbando~! Let's talk about Husbando~ for a moment. Husbando~ loves video games, but he's really only into two kinds:
Husbando~ will not touch RPGs. He doesn't like to be in the same room as an RPG. If he even thinks he sees spiky hair he's storming out of the room and fussing.
You've probably picked this up because I won't shut up about Chrono Trigger, but I'm exactly the opposite. I'm so here for Japanese RPGs, children, holy shit.
"Okay, then, Bean, but how did you come to Mass Effect? Why isn't this a Dragon Age blog?" What a good looking question. Honestly, Dragon Age looks more like my shit. But one, I've played Dragon Age, and Dragon Age is hot garbage. And two, this happened instead.
The year is ... probably 2011 or so, before MSPixel. I'd like you all to meet a very good and very old friend of mine, supernonamegirl. I'll use her Internet name just in case she doesn't want her real name on my shitty art blog.
Well, sure! With such a convincing argument, I set out to GameStop to buy it used because I wasn't sure if I'd like it well enough to pay full price. Really. What's weird is that I specifically remember that trip. I don't know how often you specifically remember buying a video game.
It looked good enough, but it looked like space. Husbando~ loves anything in space, maybe even more than video games. So I brought him Mass Effect.
Mini rant time: why in the hell do people classify Mass Effect as an RPG? It's a broshooter. It's 120% a broshooter. I don't care if it has stats. Do you understand that shooters have had stats ever since there were shooters? Doom had stats! Just because they're hidden doesn't mean they're not there. "Make choices" or "develop your character" aren't good enough for me either. Bioshock tried to claim it's an RPG and now y'all are all squirreled around and backwards wondering if Rocket League is an RPG, jfc.
Look, we were all naive once.
And so,
Look, say whatever you need to about Supernonamegirl, she's always right.
They have a memorial wall on the Normandy for the characters that have died. We never discussed it too much because I was always trying to hide who died.
Nerds were sad over the fate of the Normandy, the original ending never addressed what happened to it. The extended cut, however:
The extended cut shows the Normandy fixed and happily jetting off from Brazil.
Of course, the Normandy is filled to the brim with reaper tech, which isn't supposed to work in the ending, so there's that.
And now, to the Mass Effectian future, to a far off planet --
The BioWare art team ... probably ran out of time? I'm guessing? But they put an image here that they got off of DeviantArt.
So I thought I'd get smart and draw the DeviantArt logo but SURPRISE I can't draw it. You got me this time, BioWare Art Team.
On the planet:
Soooooo ... the whole game was supposed to be this old asshole telling his grandson Shepard's exploits. Uh. Excepting that that's cheesy and stupid af, did no one at BioWare give this even ten seconds worth of thought?!
So. I've tied up every last end but one.
Which is exactly why I'm going to fuck with this shit instead.
DON'T NONE OF Y'ALL FORGET IT
ALL Y'ALL SHOW UP
No, but forreal, there is one last loose end.
If you pick the destroy ending, and your EMS is high enough, Shepard lives.
Even though she's kept alive from Mass Effect 2 with reaper technology and the Star Child explicitly says she probably won't make it.
There's something that I've always wondered about the ending: wouldn't someone have to find Shepard for her to survive? Who does that?
There is one last character.
And now, dear everyone,
It has been my honor and privilege to be your MSPal over the years.
Do not think that I'm done. For one, Andromeda comes. For two, there's actually Mass Effect that I haven't drawn, if you can believe.
For three, I have surprises for you! You get surprises, that's not so bad.
We'll talk about your surprises on Monday. You're coming back, right? I want to see all of you here! Don't make me ride a horse to your house.
And, um, someone link me to some Andromeda news. I haven't been able to keep up, I've been drawing garbage instead.
... I haven't figured out how to draw Ryder yet, I'm petrified.
Personally, I don't think it added much, but that wasn't a complaint I had with the ending anyway.
Whatever. Take it, Hackett.
I thought that the relays were destroyed in the original ending, but it was so unclear that I could willingly be wrong.
I'm an ass.
I sincerely ask for your forgiveness, but I couldn't figure out how to illustrate this line. It's dumb as hell is why. What the hell in the Mass Effect universe is about working together? I can chop the stones off the krogan, toast the quarians off their own planet, and then Hackett's gonna tell me about togetherness?
... is that the citadel cruising over Vancouver?
Why are nerds okay with this but not okay with the shot in Paragon Lost where the citadel is in Earth's orbit?
I'm still going to pretend I censored out some death spoilers, so enjoy this garbage instead!
