I love to imagine there's a lot of hyjinks that go on in the Normandy's kitchen.
All right, all these Cerberus folks all up on some schmoe named Dr. Modin Solus, so we probably need to get on that.
Brother Solus is on Omega, which isn't exactly the capital of the Terminus systems, but I don't see why it couldn't be. Omega is a mushroom shaped shit hole of a space station that looks like it was lifted directly out of Cowboy Bebop, which of course stole all its shit out of Blade Runner, which stole all of its shit out of Mass Effect. Wait. I'm either messed up or I have identified the mobius strip of science fiction.
Whatever, it all jacked everything straight from Kirk and pals anyway. Off to Omega!
The first thing anyone ought to do on Omega is walk about three steps forward and run square in to Zaeed. Yes, I'm getting side tracked from Dr. Solus, but this takes like two minutes.
You'll find Mr. Masani beating the shit out of a batarian.
Ha, batarians.
True story, in Mass Effect 1, you can pick Shepard's background, ie what she did before she was The Shep. I always pick 'war hero', the one where she got her rank and prestige by killing, like, ten million whole batarians with her bare hands. Not only does it make a little more sense in the context of the story (the other two have nothing to do with the military -- how the hell did she get hooked up to be the XO of the shiny new head of the Alliance fleet otherwise?), and boosts your paragon up, it adds to the rich tapestry of the fact that the batarians are the whipping boys of the Mass Effect universe.
Anyway, we do need to welcome Zaeed Masani to the stage. He's normally a DLC guy, but you get him free with a new copy of Mass Effect 2, and anyway, we're going to be doing most if not all of the DLC. Zaeed is a total rough and tumble badass who got his face blown off. Really. They had to sew it back on and stick a new eyeball in his eye socket. It's kind of a poor man's Lazarus project.
Zaeed, much like Saren, does not leave the room unless he leaves a body behind.
Anyway, that's the end of Zaeed's recruitment. No, really, it's that short: Shepard asks if he wants to join, he says yes, and then he shoots a batarian. Every mission should end in "and then he shoots a batarian".
Once in Omega, we're told that we should first go introduce ourselves to Aria. She's inside of a strip club called The Afterlife.
Y'all thought Chora's Den had some shit in it? Afterlife? Children. Afterlife.
The place is lined with asari strippers.
Actually, I missed drawing asari, I'm glad I'm back to it, even if it is an asari wrapped around a pole with a Power Girl style tit hole that only Shepard can fill.
Please none of y'all tell my mom about this blog.
Anyway, let us wipe the drool off our screens and go visit Aria, the de facto leader of Omega.
Everyone gonna stand back and let me nerd out a second.
Because damnit I LOVE Aria.
Seriously. She and Anderson are in close running for my favorite NPC. (Anderson would have made it, but he gets major points off for ... ahahhah, I'll more or less have to devote an entire entry to it, it is delicious.) But Aria, she's smart and powerful, which is a quality the game doesn't lend to a lot of asari. Liara gets there, but no, Aria starts out on top.
Also, she's probably the only asari that the game doesn't sexualize.
Don't say Liara. Don't you dare. She was supposed to be our barely legal ~blushing space waifu~ last game, remember?
I have to take notes for MSPixel while I play, and seriously, in my notebook, Aria's name is written in big letters with hearts and tildes all around it, like I'm twelve or some shit. I love Aria.
And PS, how rad is it that we get to Aria today, on all the days in Bioware history, when they announce this stuff that spoils ME3 so I can't say much more about it? Bioware must be paying attention to me! God I hope not! Hey, Bioware, I loved Jade Empire, please don't sue!
(Also, when they announced ME4? I was like OH YEY HOLY HELL THAT RULES wait fuck I'm going to be drawing this shit for the rest of my natural life)
But seriously, that DLC? It's like they specifically called me and asked what I wanted. Many squeefuls were had in this household.
Anyway, back to the fucking story, most people really don't like Aria, and I suspect it has to do with Aria's one law of Omega.
Which, really, it's not that hard a law to follow. Actually, there's a rumor that in that DLC, you -- you know what, I won't spoil it, but it's a Bioware game so you can probably do the math there.
Shepard asks Aria where Mordin is, she's pretty sure he's off in the Omega slums. But the slums are quarantined right now -- there's a plague about, see, and they're trying to let it die off.
But then, the plague doesn't affect humans, because, um, science, so maybe if Shepard looks at the guards with real sad eyes, she can get in? Worth a shot.
As Shepard leaves, Aria takes some time to toss Shepard a friendly reminder.
Ha, batarians.
This is going to go faster once I don't have to draw introductions to everything, hot damn. Hey, let's actually shoot something next time.
NEXT TIME: GRIPPING SCIENCE FICTION THRILLER ACTION about air conditioner repair
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