Showing posts with label mordin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mordin. Show all posts

Friday, September 11, 2015

Citadel: I Drew A Shirtless Turian

There's a headline for you.

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That's the best shirtless turian I got. No one promised you good art.

True story, when I first got Tumblr, literally the only thing I could get to come up was Garrus Vakarian's dick. My friends would sit on their piles of food pictures and cat videos and look upon my piles of alien porn in astonishment. I used a stopwatch to time how long it took me to get to turian dicks when I started tumblr up. I was averaging around 90 seconds.

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... did ANYONE else notice Javik just chilling in Shepard's bedroom the day after the party?

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Depending on stuff, you can get various messages from other squadmates who couldn't make it into the party. (Their flight got delayed, see.) I got some stuff from Mordin, let's check it out!

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... in the game this is an audio file, but see, we here at the MSPixel offices remain unencumbered by such things as "the ESRB," so enjoy this one fully rendered.

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Hi, everyone, Mordin shows porn to children, of course he does, because this is Mass Effect.

Other than that, it's a fairly normal morning here at Casa de Anderson.

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But sadly, all things must come to an end, and we find ourselves at the Citadel docks.

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Isn't that a lovely ending? I sure could say something about the real ending, but maybe I'll just keep my mouth shut and instead invite us all back on the Sex Boat Normandy.

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... wait, wasn't someone very conspicuously missing from the party?

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Chawkwas! I'm shocked we didn't have to mop her ass up during the whole ordeal.

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Was there anyone else?

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... yeah, so, no one else. We good.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Run To The Hammers

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I think I remember this being the first line in one of the first trailers ever shown for Mass Effect 3.

Point being, we're looking at the shroud, we're about to cure the genophage, but first? We've got to catch a reaper. How do you do that, anyway?

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Hahahahahaha shit.

Okay, fine, let's --

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What follows is probably one of the most insane portion of video gaming you'll ever care to play. The only thing I can think of that's more nuts comes later in Mass Effect 3.

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See, the reaper? He's totally not going to make this easy.

And how do we take care of reapers?

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... nah, not this time. This time, your best bet is to run like hell.

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See, because the reaper's going to try to step on you.

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And also it shoots lazers.

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And also it spits sharks.

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Not really, but it might as well.

Please imagine this playing while we go after the hammers.

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Finally, once both hammers are down:

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NEXT TIME: Kalross!

Friday, February 7, 2014

Prelude to the Shroud

Alright, so today --

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Oh my GOD.

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WHO BEFORE ME WILL CLAIM THIS IS SOMEHOW NOT THE HORNIEST GAME EVER MADE

Fuckin'a. Let's go see Joker and hope he doesn't have anything smart to say about EDI.

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All right! Everyone break off, and let's go --

Wait, damn, space skype is ringing.

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This next image is a direct quote from the game. I want you to pay attention to it.

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Write it down somewhere. Journal about the experience.

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