"Jesus Christ, you're still drawing? You're awful, Bean. When will God stop your sinful hand?" Okay, about that.
I am having some kind of weird hand problem. It's not that they hurt, it's that they don't work right. You can imagine that this is making drawing hard.
I am going to the doctor today, so don't worry about my hands too much. Here's what my broke hands mean to you: you get half an MSPixel today, and half an MSPixel on Saturday. You heard me right, you're getting MSPixel on Saturday.
Assuming the doctor doesn't tell me anything goofy, the plan may be to keep throwing small MSPixels at you guys until I get this whole hand thing figured out. That might mean MSPixel on Sunday for you. Or Monday. I'm not making huge promises, I'm just pointing out that you're getting a pretty damn good deal, all in all.
So let's start the party, what do you say!
Wait, won't we mess up Anderson's apartment? I can imagine Shepard being hyper paranoid.
You guys, I'm sorry, I've been in the cosplay mines. (Real talk, if you're going to DragonCon, hunt me the fuck out.) Can I make it up to you with a double long MSPixel?
First, let's discuss friends. Does the following ever happen to you?
I'm not kidding, I don't sit and watch very well. I think that's why I find video games so much more appealing, at least I'm doing something while I'm watching. (I'd love to watch more anime, because I think there's a mirror universe somewhere where this blog is me drawing out anime episodes poorly instead of video games poorly.)
Also, if we're hanging out, I'd like to ... I don't know, talk to you? Do stuff with you? Make a fucking memory? Not just stare at the damn screen.
And of course, no one ever wants to watch something I would actually want to watch anyway.
What I'm saying is, I'm glad Shepard has the same problem.
... isn't Fleet and Flotilla a video game in the Mass Effect universe?
I think Fleet and Flotilla is supposed to be some sort of take on Buffy, but I'm not sure, because like I said, I don't sit and watch stuff real often. I decided to make it Quarian Dr. Who instead.
...
Oh my GOD. Okay. Let's workshop this scene.
Stuff that is good:
I'm pretty sure the melody is one of the love themes from Mass Effect. If I'm right, that's boss.
The lyrics are actually pretty.
Stuff that is bad:
Literally everything else.
I mean, this is fucking hard to watch. You get second, third, fourth and fifth hand embarrassment from Tali singing.
This has to be the most diplomatic line in the trilogy, and this is a trilogy with actual diplomats.
Let's all agree that there's only one good singing scene in video game history.
Moving on, Vega and Cortez want to come over.
mspixel.jpg
Jesus Christ, this game is horny. I'm not sure how we can outdo ourselves here.
Switching gears, a story for you. Let us travel back in time, briefly, to when Citadel first came out. I was working on completing it, but I had to work slower than other Mass Effect nerds, because there was, of course, MSPixel to draw.
This kept happening:
I'm not kidding, there were so many of you that felt I needed the next scene in my life. Thank you, by the way, I love it when you all talk to me.
(PS, if you need dem links, go follow me on Twitter or Tumblr.)
What was the scene?
This was the scene.
EVERYONE GET AMPED: THIS IS THE 400TH CITADEL DLC IMAGE!
You know the damn game gets hornier than this? And I'm not even talking about the sex scene.
You know, I almost did Final Fantasy 13 instead of Mass Effect. I could have been trying to remember the difference between fal'cie and l'cie right now instead of drawing a bag of nut ice.
Okay, probably I should go on with the Citadel scenes? But holy shit.
You've probably noticed that, when applicable and interesting, I've been adding in the YouTube videos of the romantic scenes in this section. I went and looked up Cortez's and choked.
Like, it starts the same way.
And I assume that Dudeshep also pukes when Cortez turns off the inertia dampeners, so let's go ahead and conjure that image.
What follows is the actual dialog from the game.
YOU FELL OUT OF YOUR CHAIR TOO, RIGHT?
Like, that's what we're all supposed to believe now, that going into trivial shit about the do that you do so well is somehow sexy.
No, no, and here, let me make it better, instead of being like, "So hey, scoot on over here and let me play some pocket pool," Steve just keeps fucking going.
Apparently Husbando~ doesn't know anything, because Shepard and Cortez go back in the back and fuck. I guess they fuck in all the puke. Holy hell this is a weird scene.
I understand that it's just a very unfortunate way that the flag triggers, but ... damnit, do you need to watch it? Here, watch it:
Jeez, that was hard to watch. Thankfully, Ashley has invited us out drinking.
I tell Husbando~ all the time, that's how you can tell who the sexy people are, they actually give a shit about who shot first.
No, actually, I don't intend to stop making Nintendo jokes, thanks for asking!
