Saturday, January 18, 2014

SATURDAY POST: The Definitive Yes Indeed Top Ten Best Games List, Part 1

So there's, like, other websites for video games, right? You know, besides MSPixel. I mean, you don't visit any of them, of course, because I'm your be-all-end-all, but they do exist.

Nearly every one of these sites has a Top Ten Games Ever list. Okay, great, that's wonderful, but why is their list more valid than my own? I've always wanted to make and post my own list. And also? It's Saturday, I'll post what I want.

SO. WITHOUT FURTHER ADO,

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Are you ready? ARE YOU READY. We'll go from "least awesomest" to "most awesomeest," but I still have a burning need for you to play everything on this list.

NUMBER 10: THE WORLD ENDS WITH YOU, ORIGINAL DS

(I actually considered drawing all the boxart for these entries, but you all get enough of me during the week.)

This (and maybe original Trauma Center) are hands down the best reasons to own a DS. The art style and sound track are totally unique and rad, but the gameplay really makes this title.

Most people, sadly, get scared off from the gameplay. You play on both screens at once during combat. It sounds really confusing, probably because it is, but consider this: I am a total dumbass, I beat this game just fine. Once you get the hang of it, you'll do great. I swear.

Do me a favor, and play the game past the first "week". Without spoiling anything, once you hit that mark, you'll see why everyone loves this game so bad.

(FUN FACT: the dudes at Square actually got in trouble with the higher ups when they made this game, because it was "too much of a risk." This was the catalyst that made Squeenix decide to only make sequels for a while, even if TWEWY was really successful. Hell, I don't know, Japanese buisness is hard to understand. Hey, let's do another game!

NUMBER 9: HARVEST MOON 64, NINTENDO 64

True story: for my birthday, when I was a kid, I begged for this one video game, and my mother got it for me. She assumed that since my friends and I were so ate up with it, it would be something huge and violent and gory. She sat down to watch me play the game, found me playing the original SNES Harvest Moon, and promptly got hugely pissed that my friends and I weren't shooting the heads off zombies.

I love Harvest Moon, I do I do I do. When I was a kid, I think the initial draw was trying to marry all the girls in the game. Over time, though, I learned to love other bull shit, such as naming the cows "Steak" and "Burger" and feeding the dog weeds.

I've played a lot of Harvest Moon, but I might have to name the 64 one my favorite. It was a perfect expansion on the SNES one that I played to death, and also it had Harris the Mailman, and everyone should love Harris. I liked the Magical Melody one on Gamecube a lot, too. There's one that's a little newer that everyone's into, but I can't remember what it is now.

You know I've never played Rune Factory?

NUMBER 8: FINAL FANTASY 9, ORIGINAL PLAYSTATION

Oh, I'm doing this, we're having a Final Fantasy fight. GLOVE THROWN.

Look, if you're looking for a half decent RPG, you really can't go wrong with one of the older or mid-age Final Fantasies. There's this pervasive theory that the first Final Fantasy you play is your favorite. Yeah, hey, my first was Mystic Quest. My second was FF6, and I'm still naming 9 as my favorite.

9 just wants to be a good game, that's all. No one's brooding, the plot's not totally convoluted. It's just light. That's a nice change in an RPG.

Besides, I love the fuck out of Zidane. He solves other people's problems by pissing over a bridge. How can you not love Zidane?

(... If I ever did a Final Fantasy for MSPixel, and God help us all the day could come, I think I'd do 10. Don't request 8. It's not happening, I hate 8.)

NUMBER 7: SUPER MARIO WORLD 2: YOSHI'S ISLAND, SNES

Do I really need to defend this game? It's the pinnacle of platforming! And it's so damn cute.

I think what makes Yoshi's Island stand out from other games is all the bizarre shit it did. Yoshi could turn into vehicles. Yoshi could touch fuzzy, get high. He could spit different watermelon seeds! Did you not just spend hours harassing the monkeys in the jungle level? The AI for those things was insane, man. They had a lot of different responses. I think I played the ski level every single snow day. There was a ski level in a fucking Yoshi game.

This game has the added bonus of driving my mother insane with the, "HEY! HE-EY!"

NUMBER 6: ZELDA SERIES, VARIOUS

... I ... I can't pick one!

But I do love Zelda. I'm kind of sad that there's no way I could make one work for an MSPixel. ... maaaaybe Twilight Princess.

Anyway, Zelda games have this nice way of always making you feel like you're moving forward or accomplishing something, when other video games have a more, "you got that done" sort of focus.

Link's also one of my favorite video game characters, like, ever. I'm not actually sure why. I do, however, kick ass with him in Smash Brothers.

If I had to name my favorite Zeldas, I'd name the original NES one, Zelda II (I said it, get mad), Ocarina of Time, Four Swords, Wind Waker, and possibly a Link Between Worlds. Maaaaaaaaaaaybe Minish cap would make that list. I am the only person on the planet that isn't nuts about Link to the Past. I've actually never played Majora's Mask (I don't have an expansion pak!), and I'm so stuck in the first dungeon of Skyward Sword that I'm not sure I'm smart enough to play that game.

Hey, I'm saving five through one for next Saturday, so don't forget to come back! Make sure to get mad at me in the comments!

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