I think I've been on this rant: is there seriously not another person on the ship that they could send in? If Shepard dies in a fire, that's, like, a thing. Do they legit not have a security officer?
... um okay so.
Hey everyone, EDI is a big titty robot now, because this, Mass Effect 3, Bioware's magnum opus, is the horniest game the world has ever known.
And here's the thing: big titties happen in nature. I get that. I do, truly. But EDI's titties are, like, inappropriately huge. This starts to give you an idea of what I mean. There's a line, damnit. I'm not sure where it is, but I don't think I'm being unreasonable when I say that EDI shat on that line and jet packed over it.
This is not a spoiler: there's a scene in the ending where Shepard and EDI are standing facing each other, and the camera pans out as they speak. Shepard's standing there looking like, you know, a human, while EDI looks like she's about to tip over. I wish I had a screen shot, truly I do.
I don't know, it's just a giant wad of, "Could we not?"
It's okay though, if nothing else, I bet we can trust Bioware to be respectful about having a bit titty robot in its game. Hey, EDI, why the hell do you have a big titty body now?
I wish I could tell you this is as bad as it's going to get.
(Hey, that means EDI is a squadmate now. Really truly! We can take her on missions and shit. EDI is the second squadmate that you can't ditch. I'm pretty sure that everyone else besides her and Liara can either die or be told off.)
Okay, fine, let's go see Jok --
HEY BIOWARE. COULD WE NOT?! COULD WE MAYBE NOT TAKE A HALF DECENT CHARACTER, GIVE HER HUGE TITS, AND THEN MAKE HER SPANK MATERIAL FOR ANOTHER CHARACTER? COULD WE NOT.
LIKE, SHE COULD HAVE HAD INTERESTS, OR FLAWS, OR ANYTHING OTHER THEN TITS SO HUGE THEY DEFINE HER CHARACTER AND HOW OTHERS INTERACT WITH HER.
BUT NO, KIDS, NO. CASEY HUDSON HAS HIS DICK IN HIS HAND, SO WE HAVE TO WATCH THIS BULLSHIT.
Maybe they'll cool it with --
Spoiler alert: I will be yelling for the rest of the game.
NEXT TIME: Probably, I'm still mad.
Two reasons why the Cerebus infiltratiin unit needed artifical tits:
ReplyDelete1.To be as realistic as possible, (if it used holotechnology for them it would raise questions when things passed through them). Also even Data, Lore, and B4 all had nipples.
2.To help make the <3 .E.D.I. fanbase alot less weird.
Also it's never hinted the infiltration unit is capable of sexual activity so it;s not as bad as it could be.
You, um.. didn't hear the conversation between Joker and Mordin? About positions and not breaking his bones?
DeleteI'm pretty sure that the codex says that Brother TIM used to have sex with the Core Bot. If it's not the codex, it's somewhere in the game.
DeleteThe fact that the robot was named after Eva Core is kind of a big gross weird hint, too.
Sweet, two updates within a day! I knew this entry was coming, and it was every bit as wonderful as I had hoped.
ReplyDeleteI had pretty much the same response when I heard they were giving the Normandy a fresh pair of gams and some torpedos. :/ But after the initial awkwardness, I chalked it up to "The illusive man built this stupid sexbot and named it after his ex girlfriend, so the grossness is mostly his fault."
ReplyDelete